Vaginismus: When sex hurts

Posted on 25 August 2023 by Natalia
Vaginismus: When sex hurts

Vaginismus might not be the topic of every tea-time chat, but it's high time we brought this often-sidelined issue into the spotlight. Despite being shrouded in taboos and misconceptions, it affects a significant number of women, casting shadows over their intimate and emotional well-being.

So, ladies, let's delve deep into the world of vaginismus. By understanding its intricacies, we can pave the way for a fulfilling sexual journey for every woman out there.

What is vaginismus? Let's unpack the details!

Vaginismus isn't just a word that's tricky to pronounce; it's a sexual health condition where there's an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles. This can make penetration uncomfortable, challenging, or even downright impossible.

Now, here's a fun fact: there are two main types of vaginismus. Grab a cuppa and let's chat about them.

  • Primary vaginismus: This is when a woman has never experienced pain-free vaginal penetration throughout her life. Often, this type becomes evident during initial attempts at sexual intercourse or even something as simple as using a tampon.
  • Secondary vaginismus: Picture this – you've previously had comfortable, pain-free sexual encounters, but out of the blue, things change. A woman might develop secondary vaginismus after a traumatic event, surgery, an infection, hormonal shifts, or other causes. Essentially, something triggers this reflex contraction, even if she's had smooth sailing before.

Knowledge is power, ladies! Understanding the ins and outs (pun intended) of our bodies allows us to take control of our own narrative.

Vaginismus and intimacy: more than just a physical response

Vaginismus is a curveball in the game of love, directly meddling with a woman's ability to have penetrative sex. But its effects aren't merely physical; the emotional and psychological ripples can be deeply profound.

Women grappling with vaginismus might often feel as though they're falling short or carry a cloak of shame. Some might even perceive themselves as "less feminine" or be gripped by the fear that their partner sees them as "flawed". Consequently, vaginismus can lead to a dwindling libido, anxiety surrounding intimacy, and in certain scenarios, opting for complete sexual abstinence.

But, and here's the silver lining, intimacy is more than just penetration. Sexuality is a vast, versatile realm, and couples can find countless other ways to express their ardour and affection without necessarily going the penetrative route. After all, love has a million languages, doesn't it?

Tackling vaginismus: a guide to getting back in the saddle

For many women, vaginismus can feel like a solo journey through murky waters. But chin up, because there's a beacon of hope! A slew of effective approaches and methods exists to help women navigate through this condition. Here's the lowdown:
  • Medical therapies: Healthcare champs, especially our beloved gynaecologists, have an array of treatments up their sleeves. Their main aim? To help those pesky vaginal muscles chill out a bit.
  • Psychological therapies: Considering vaginismus can be deeply rooted in psychological elements – think fears or past traumas – roping in a therapist who's a whizz at sexual disorders can be a game-changer. They often wield tools like cognitive behavioural therapy to pinpoint and treat the emotional culprits behind vaginismus.
  • Kegel exercises: If you fancy a bit of DIY, Kegel exercises are your go-to. They're all about flexing and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles. Not only do they jazz up the strength of these muscles, but they also empower women to get in tune with and control their contractions and relaxations.

Sextoys and vaginismus: not just for fun, but for healing too!

Now, if someone were to drop the word 'sextoys' in a chat about vaginismus, a few eyebrows might raise. It seems a tad counter-intuitive, right? But here's the twist: these cheeky little tools are not just about having a good time; they can play a pivotal role in rehabilitation, offering comfort and aiding in body rediscovery.

  • Muscle Relaxation 101: Dive into the world of sextoys, and you'll find gems like vaginal dilators. Tailored for muscle relaxation, these gadgets come in a spectrum of sizes. The aim? Gradual insertion. It's all about letting those muscles ease into the sensation of penetration without any rush.
  • Owning Your Body: Sex toys can also be the ticket for women to rekindle the bond with their bodies, beyond the sexual context of a partner. Think of it as a personal rendezvous—a quiet moment for self-exploration, free from external expectations and pressures.

So, whether it's for pleasure or therapy (or a cheeky mix of both), sextoys might just be the unsung heroes in the journey through vaginismus.