Bondage and discipline

​Bondage is a BDSM practice that consists of voluntarily tying up or restricting a partner’s movements using specially dedicated accessories. Immobilisation can be partial or full, depending on your desires, experience level and the scenario you decide on.

​As a practice, it’s often associated with kinbaku, also referred to as called Japanese bondage, whose origins are thought to date back to certain binding techniques used in feudal Japan. Over time, these methods have evolved to become a form of aesthetic and/or erotic expression, that is nowadays known as shibari.

​There are numerous different accessories available to you when practicing bondage:

• BDSM handcuffs
• Bondage harnesses 
• Shibari ropes
• Wrist and ankle restraints
• Spreader bars
• Harnesses and restraint systems

​Contrary to popular belief, bondage isn’t all about physical restraint. Trust, communication and the bond between partners are all crucial within this practice.

​Bondage can be incorporated into sexual intercourse, serve as a prelude to other BDSM activities, or be practised for the pleasure of the sensations, the aesthetic appeal of the restraints, or the dynamic of control it creates between partners.

​Bondage may seem intimidating if you’re exploring it for the first time. You’re not obligated to be a shibari master or have loads of sophisticated equipment right from the get-go. Just a few simple games are enough to explore the sensations associated with being immobilised and giving up control.

​As with any BDSM practice, consent and communication are absolutely vital. Before you get started, make sure that each partner feels at ease with the planned experience and can express both their desires and limits.

​Here are a few ideas for you to start off softly:

• Attach your partner’s wrists to the bed during sex so they can experience what it’s like to give up control.
• Lock their hands behind their back during oral sex to intensify sensations and play around with anticipation.
• Bind their wrists and ankles, then use a feather to explore knismolagnia (aka erotic tickling).
• Restrict your partner’s movements during an erotic massage to make it easier for them to let go.
• Tie your partner to a comfortable chair and treat them to a striptease  or simply tease them.

For beginners, the aim is not to ‘make the perfect knots’ so to speak, but rather to discover the sensations, trust and intimacy levels that bondage can bring to a couple. Simple accessories such as BDSM handcuffs, bondage straps and adjustable restraints are often all you need to get started.

​Lots of couples like to explore immersive scenarios and more elaborate forms of immobilisation once they feel they’ve nailed the basics. You don’t necessarily have to use more equipment, you just need to play around with the level of restriction, different positions and sensory deprivation.

​Here are a few ideas for you to take things up a notch:

• Completely restrain your partner at the four corners of the bed in order to restrict their movements during the session.
• Gradually progressing from simply tying the wrists to full-body bondage, involving multiple points of restraint on the body.
• Discover floor bondage, which involves restraining your partner in various positions using ropes, straps or specific restraints.
• Try the hogtie, a position in which the wrists and ankles are tied together behind the back, creating a particularly restrictive restraint.
• Combine bondage with sensory deprivation using a BDSM mask, a blindfold or a gag to heighten anticipation and sensations.

​As the level of restraint increases, it becomes particularly important to monitor comfort and blood circulation. It is also recommended to take your time when learning a new technique and to use equipment specifically designed for bondage.

​For many enthusiasts, these more advanced forms of bondage allow for a deeper exploration of sensations: letting go, vulnerability and control that are what appeals in this BDSM practice.

​Budget isn’t the only thing to consider when choosing your bondage accessories. Comfort, sensations, and each partners’ preferences are just as important for getting the most out of the experience.

​Handcuffs, straps, restraints and bondage ropes are particularly intimate accessories. Beyond their aesthetic appeal, it is important to consider their comfort, ease of use and the sensations they provide.

​Some people prefer flexible and discreet accessories, whilst others are looking for a more aesthetic or immersive experience. There is no one-size-fits-all choice: the key is to find equipment that suits your preferences and your level of experience.

​Quality is a key factor, particularly when it comes to bondage ropes or equipment intended to be used for long periods of time.

​For shibari and bondage ropes, natural fibres are generally preferred:

• Jute
• High-quality cotton
• Linen
• Hemp

​These materials often offer greater comfort, a better grip and more flexibility when securing restraints.

​Conversely, synthetic or overly rigid materials are often less comfortable (and can even be dangerous). Choosing accessories designed specifically for bondage helps to improve comfort, pleasure and safety.

Bondage toys are truly personal items, and choosing them is often a matter of instinct and personal preference. A toy'sappearance, texture, and the emotions it evokes all play an important role in the experience. The best accessory is the one that most closely matches the couple’s desires and shared world.

​ Shibari  is a form of Japanese bondage practised using ropes. The name literally means ‘to tie’ in Japanese. It involves restraining, securing or sometimes suspending a partner using specific techniques and patterns of binding.

​Although it forms part of the bondage family, shibari places great emphasis on the aesthetics of the ropes, the sensations it evokes and the connection between partners. Considered by many to be a true erotic art form, it has its own set of rules and techniques. To find out more, feel free to consult our comprehensive guide to shibari.

​As with all BDSM practices, safety during bondage sessions depends above all on communication. Partners must be able to clearly express their desires, limits and comfort levels before, during and after the session.

​A few essential safety rules are widely recognised within the bondage community:

• Never tie a rope around the neck.
• Never tie a rope so tightly that it restricts blood flow.
• Never leave a tied-up person unattended.
• Avoid alcohol or substances that may impair judgement.
• Keep a pair of safety scissors to hand when using ropes.
• Check regularly that the tied partner is comfortable and at ease.
• Maintain constant communication throughout the session.

​It is essential to agree on a safeword before you start. This safeword allows partners to signal immediately that they wish to slow down or stop the session.