The ultimate guide to having an unforgettable first time

For many of us, our first sexual encounter holds a pivotal spot in our personal tapestry. It's an event that often rouses a flurry of questions, apprehensions, and sometimes, is shrouded in a fair share of misconceptions. The LOVE Team is here to shed some light on this inaugural rendezvous, ensuring you navigate it with poise and assurance. Here are a few savvy pointers to help you step into this new chapter with full confidence.

Sexuality is a journey, one that allows us to delve deep into our own personal intimacy, both physically and emotionally. It also introduces us to the intricate layers of another person. It's essential to remember that sex isn’t about scoring points or acing a test. Genuine sincerity and respect are your compass, guiding you towards establishing a relationship with your partner based on mutual sharing and open communication.

Age and The First Time: It’s Your Timeline!

When it comes to the ideal age for your first sexual encounter, there’s no set number or 'golden age'. Some dive into the experience during their teens, whilst others might take their time, perhaps waiting until their early twenties or even later. Remember, you’re the captain of your own ship and the best age is the one you choose, specifically when you feel truly ready.

Steer clear of getting swayed by the prevailing chatter or the anecdotes of your mates. Everyone’s journey is unique, and it's crucial for each person to tread at their own pace, diving in only when it feels right. Sexuality is a deeply personal voyage, and it’s up to each individual to chart its course based on their desires and emotional maturity. Let's ditch the concept of "normality" in this arena - it has no room here.

Your mantra? It’s not about the age, it’s about the stage. Cheers to your personal journey!

Protection: your number one priority

One primary concern on your radar should undoubtedly be protection. You might not be privy to your partner’s sexual health status at the time of your encounter, making it paramount to ensure you’re shielded against Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).

Condoms: Be it male or female, condoms are the go-to for many. Not only do they offer a defence against STIs/STDs, but they also prevent unplanned pregnancies. A little side note from the LOVE Squad – it’s very possible to fall pregnant during your first sexual escapade. So, better safe than sorry!

Hormonal Contraception: The pill is an effective barrier against unwanted pregnancies, but it doesn’t offer any protection against STIs or STDs. Therefore, even if you’re on the pill, always wrap it up with a condom.

LOVE Team Tip

Protection isn’t just for the main act. Foreplay requires the same attention. Considering oral? Use a condom or a dental dam to keep things safe.

Safety first, always! Remember, it's about having a good time and peace of mind.

Desire: navigating the waters with confidence

Your partner should be someone you deeply trust: someone who has the ability to allay your worries, understand your reservations, and ensure the relationship stands on a foundation of respect and understanding. Engage in a heart-to-heart before taking the plunge. Share your concerns, and ensure they grasp where you're coming from. Both your comfort levels are intrinsically linked.

And let's debunk a common myth while we're at it: sexual intimacy doesn’t necessarily equate to penetration. It's never a mandatory act. It's wholly up to you to decide what feels right. Always remember, there’s no rush. Trust yourself, and never feel pressured into anything you're not comfortable with.

Expectations: embracing the imperfectly perfect first time

Even if you've built up a catalogue of expectations, remember that first times might not always mirror the dreamy scenarios you've envisaged. This inaugural encounter is all about exploration; and truth be told, perfection is a lofty goal. You're likely to be swept up in a tidal wave of novel sensations, with emotional whirlwinds being just as impactful as those newfound physical thrills.

So, here's the golden nugget: cut yourself some slack. You'll have ample opportunities to learn, to delve deeper, and to fine-tune your experiences as time marches on.

It’s about the journey, not just the destination. And remember, every beautiful story has its first chapter.

Discomfort: navigating the initial hurdles

For many women, the first act of penetration can indeed come with a side of discomfort or pain. However, let’s get one thing straight: sex shouldn’t be synonymous with physical pain. Taking ample time for foreplay is key, allowing you to feel at ease and in the mood. This relaxation can help your muscles to unwind and promote natural lubrication.

Communication is your North Star. Always vocalise any discomfort or pain to your partner, so the two of you can work together to find a comfortable middle ground. If you find the discomfort lingering, don’t be shy about reaching for a water-based lubricant to smooth things along.

Your comfort is paramount. Listen to your body and communicate every step of the way.

Positions: spicing it up from the get-go

There's a vast array of positions awaiting your experimentation as you embark on your journey of sexual discovery. But for those just starting out, here are a few tried-and-true classics that, thanks to their simplicity, can offer an unforgettable thrill.

Missionary: This involves one partner lying on top of the other. The partner on top sets the rhythm and decides the depth of penetration. The direct eye contact can heighten the intimacy, making it a go-to for many couples during their initial explorations.
Spooning : Imagine two spoons nestled together in a drawer. In this intimate position, both partners lie side by side, with one nestled behind the other. It’s a tender, comforting, and reassuring choice.
Cowgirl: One partner sits atop the other, either facing towards or away from them. This position can be empowering for many women, offering the opportunity for a rather electrifying clitoral climax.
Doggy Style: The penetrating partner is positioned behind the other. This allows for deeper penetration compared to the missionary. However, it requires a bit more coordination as both partners work to find a rhythm that's mutually pleasurable.

While these positions offer a solid starting point, the world of intimacy is rich and varied. Experiment, find what feels good, and most importantly, have fun!

The ultimate guide to having sex for the first time