What is a sex therapist?

Posted on 16 February 2024 by Natalia
What is a sex therapist?
At a time when the taboos surrounding our sex lives are slowly being peeled away, the urgency for a candid and enlightened discourse has never been more important. In this article, the LOVE Team will delve into the heart of sex therapy, uncovering the pivotal role sex therapists play in our journey towards a genuinely satisfying sexual well-being.

Our mission? To debunk the many mysteries surrounding the work of sex therapists, shining a light on how their expertise in education, counselling, and support can steer you towards a more enriching and joyful sex life. By tearing down the walls of silence and shame, we'll discover how the intricate tapestry of human sexuality can become a wellspring of happiness, connection, and personal expression.

What do sex therapists do exactly?

What does a sex therapist do, you ask? A sex therapist is a healthcare professional who specialises in the study of human sexuality in all its facets. Their expertise covers a broad spectrum of topics, from sexual function and behaviours to emotions and relationships.

The field of sexology is vast and varied. Professionals may focus on individual therapy, assisting people in overcoming sexual issues such as a lack of desire, erectile dysfunction, or questions surrounding gender identity and sexual orientation. They might also engage in couples therapy, where the emphasis is on resolving conflicts, enhancing communication, and rekindling the intimate connection between partners.

Moreover, sexology extends into the realm of sexual education, aiming to inform and equip individuals of all ages with the knowledge and skills needed to experience their sexuality in a healthy and responsible manner. This can include teaching about reproductive health, consent, STI prevention, and fostering positive and respectful relationships.

How can a sex therapist help you spice up your sex life?

The strategies a sex therapist employs to jazz up your sex life can vary widely and are tailored to the unique needs of each client. They often blend techniques from cognitive-behavioural therapy, psychodynamic therapy, sexual education, and sometimes medication, to address specific disorders.

A common tool in their arsenal is talk therapy, which dives into the client's sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This method is key to pinpointing and altering negative beliefs and thought patterns that could be putting a damper on your sex life. sex therapists might also suggest practical exercises, either for you to try solo or with your partner, aimed at boosting communication, increasing intimacy and pleasure, and tackling sexual dysfunctions.

The connection between sexual well-being and both mental and physical health is undeniable. A thriving sex life can help lessen stress, improve sleep quality, and bolster self-esteem. Conversely, sexual issues can take a toll on mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and relationship strains. Thus, sex therapists pay close attention to the psychological effects of sexual disorders, striving to restore not just healthy sexual function but also to enhance overall well-being.

The role of sex toys in sex therapy

Many sex therapists might suggest using sex toys for a multitude of reasons, from boosting body awareness to addressing specific sexual challenges.

A major perk of sex toys is that they allow individuals to safely and comfortably explore their own pleasure. For some, this means discovering what tickles their fancy and how they prefer to be touched—valuable insights that can be shared with a partner. For couples, sex toys open up a playground for experimenting with new ways of giving and receiving pleasure, breaking away from the monotony and deepening intimacy.

Many sex therapists also believe that using a sex toy may be helpful in navigating certain sexual issues. For instance, women struggling to climax might find a vibrator to be an invaluable ally in exploring different types of stimulation. Similarly, for men facing erectile issues, gadgets like penis pumps or cock rings can aid in sustaining an erection, thereby boosting self-confidence and sexual satisfaction.

Beyond these benefits, sex toys also allow you to have a playful approach to sexuality. They can help you to overcome your inhibitions, spark curiosity, and foster conversations about sexual desires and preferences. This playful aspect is vital as it frames sexuality not just as a source of pleasure but as a medium for personal expression and emotional bonding.

How to find the right sex therapist for you

Embarking on the search for a qualified sex therapist is a pivotal step towards achieving a fulfilling sex life. To ensure you pick the right professional for your needs, it's crucial to weigh several factors and have a set of pertinent questions ready for your initial interaction.

Qualifications and training

Inquire about the sex therapist's educational background. A qualified professional should have undergone specialised training in sexology, on top of their foundational studies in psychology, medicine, or a related field.

Area of expertise

Sex therapists may focus on various areas (sexual disorders, couples therapy, sexual education, etc.). Pinpoint a professional whose area of expertise aligns with your specific requirements.

Therapeutic methods

Ask about the therapeutic approaches they favour. This will give you insight into how the sex therapist operates and whether it meets your expectations.


A professional's experience dealing with cases similar to yours can be a good indicator of their ability to assist you effectively.

Sensitivity and openness

Your sex therapist should be someone you feel comfortable discussing intimate details with openly. An initial consultation can help you gauge whether there's a good rapport between you.

Confidentiality and ethics

Ensure that the sex therapist adheres to a strict code of ethics, guaranteeing the confidentiality and respect of your personal information.

Some questions to ask

  • What is your experience with cases similar to mine?
  • What techniques or methods do you use?
  • How do you measure your clients' progress?
  • What are the typical frequency and duration of sessions?

Some resources for finding the right sex therapist

To locate a qualified sex therapist, there are several resources at your disposal:

Professional sex therapy organisations

Organisations such as the professional sexology association in your country (for example, COSRT, or the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists is the UK's only professional body dedicated to psychosexual and relationship therapists) provide directories of certified professionals.


Referrals from healthcare professionals, friends, or family members can be invaluable.

Online research

Forums and professional social networks can offer reviews and testimonials about various sex therapists.
Whether it's through a deeper self-awareness, enhancing intimate relationships, or venturing into new realms of pleasure, sex therapists pave the way for a richer and more satisfying sex life. Their expertise, coupled with a thoughtful use of sex toys, can take your sex life to the next level, breaking down taboos and fostering both personal and shared fulfilment. By carefully choosing a qualified professional, you’ll empower yourself to confidently navigate the vast universe of sexuality, towards a more fulfilled and harmonious life.