The perfect anal sex session: our 10 expert tips

Looking to spice up your sex life? Tempted by anal sex? While anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable, it can cause pain and discomfort if you go about it the wrong way.

That’s why the LOVE Team has put together this list of 10 hot tips for making your first experience with anal sex a success, for both you and your partner.

1. Take a Shower

Taking a shower will help you relax and ensure that you are squeaky clean for your next session. For perfect hygiene, you can even use a shower douche to give yourself an anal enema, making your rectum spotlessly clean and ready for penetration.

2. Don’t Skimp on Foreplay

Foreplay is essential before anal sex. Being more relaxed and turned on will help to loosen up the sphincter muscles, reducing the risk of pain or discomfort. You can explore a wide variety of different kinds of foreplay: caresses, kisses, mutual masturbation, eating your partner out or giving them a blow-job, or anything else that excites you. As a bonus, getting to know each other’s bodies will create an atmosphere of trust and well-being.

3. Prepare Yourself With an Anal Sex Toy

Using an anal sex toy is an excellent way to prepare your anus to welcome a penis, while building up the excitement at the same time. There is a wide variety of different kinds of anal toys that you can use, from anal plugs to dildos. For example, wearing a small plug as you go about your business before your anal sex session will relax your anus and make penetration more comfortable. Don’t forget to clean your toy properly after every session!

4. Use a Condom

When embarking on the perfect anal sex session, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. One effective way to do this is by using a high-quality condom during the encounter. Not only will this protect you from potential sexually transmitted infections (STIs), but it also offers peace of mind.

Plus, using a condom during anal sex can help minimize the risk of unplanned pregnancies. While the chances may seem slim, it's important to remember that if semen were to travel from the anus to the vagina, pregnancy could occur. By putting on a condom before penetration, you'll be safeguarding your health while enjoying a pleasurable experience.

5. Use Lube

Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't come with a built-in lubrication system. So, when engaging in anal sex, it's vital to use a lubricant to ensure a smooth and pleasurable experience. Skipping the lube can lead to uncomfortable friction, making penetration more difficult and potentially painful.

The good news is that there are plenty of options available, such as water-based and silicone-based varieties.

LOVE Team Tip

It's a great idea to have a conversation with your partner and try out different types to discover which one works best for both of you. That way, you can enjoy a comfortable and satisfying experience together.

6. Get Into a Comfortable Position

Doggy style and spooning are often considered ideal for anal sex. Have fun trying out different positions with your partner to find the one that makes you the most relaxed.

7. Push!

Contracting your anus can make anal penetration painful. You can prevent this by pushing rather than contracting during penetration, just as you would while having a bowel movement. This will relax your anus, making penetration easier. Communicate with your partner, letting him know how you feel and what you need, and the session will go smoothly!

8. Take Your Time

Don’t just rush into anal sex. Take your time, take breaks, and focus on the sensations. Listen to your body and adapt the rhythm and intensity to suit your comfort. The most important thing is that both partners feel relaxed and safe.

9. Never Switch From Anal Sex to Vaginal Sex

The risk of catching a nasty infection increases when you switch from anal to vaginal sex in the same session. Bacteria from the anal orifice can cause a painful vaginal infection if they enter the vagina. If you want to enjoy both types of penetration in the same session, clean off your penis and change condoms beforehand.

10 . Communicate With Your Partner

Communicating with your partner is essential when having anal sex. Before you hit the bedroom, remember to discuss your limits, preferences and needs to build a trusting relationship. Be aware of your partner's boundaries and always respect them. Listening carefully and genuinely paying attention to each other is the key to a successful sexual experience.

Bonus tip: Aftercare is a must!

Once your anal lovemaking is over, take some time to enjoy the post-session bliss. Aftercare is just as important as the big moment itself. Take the time to reconnect, have a cuddle session, talk about what you enjoyed and what you might like to tweak a little next time. These moments between you and your partner help to build confidence and trust, allowing you both to feel valued, understood and respected.

This is also a great moment to take a shower together, rehydrate, have a post-sex snack or simply take a moment to relax. If you’re a beginner in the realm of anal sex, you may feel some slight discomfort after the fact; don’t be afraid to discuss this calmly with your partner. Taking care of your body and your mind afterwards will consolidate connections between you and your partner, making it a veritable bonding moment.

Eric

LGBTQ+ Expert and Advocate for Sexual and Romantic Diversity

"Sexuality isn’t a box—it’s a spectrum."

A passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ representation, Eric Berger brings an inclusive, sex-positive approach to his writing. Proudly gay, he shares his experiences and expertise on topics ranging from queer relationships and coming out to pleasure and the unique challenges faced by sexual minorities. With an authentic and welcoming tone, he tackles stereotypes and encourages open, judgement-free conversations about fluid sexuality and self-discovery.

Favourite toy: A vibrating butt plug – perfect for exploring new sensations at my own rhythm.

10 Tips for the Perfect Anal Sex Session