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How to explore bondage safely: a beginner's guide to your first session

How to explore bondage safely: a beginner's guide to your first session

While exploring bondage play with your partner may be an exciting idea, it can also be a bit scary or intimidating at first. If you're a BDSM novice who wants to explore the world of bondage, keep reading to find out all of the LOVE Team’s best advice for enjoying your very first session. With our help, you’ll be ready for anything!

The world of bondage and discipline tends to evoke an air of mystery or secrecy. By flirting with the forbidden, you’ll electrify your lovemaking sessions. Above all, it is a new way of exploring your body, testing your boundaries and bringing a new dimension to your intimate relationships. Bondage play also allows you to form a new kind of intimate bond with your partner. In this how-to guide, the LOVE Team will reveal our top secrets for enjoying your first bondage session.

1. Have a serious talk with your partner beforehand

If you're going to explore the joys of bondage with your partner, you need to have a serious discussion beforehand. Take the time to discuss it calmly, talk openly about your desires and don't forget any important points.

  • Consent: Consent is an essential condition for any sexual relationship. The consent of both partners must be clearly stated.
  • Desires and boundaries: Tell your partner what you want to get out of your bondage play session. Talk about your fears and agree on limits that should not be crossed.
  • Safe-word: Define a simple word in advance that you can say at any time to tell your partner that you want to stop what you’re doing immediately.

2. Use wrist restraints

The best way to get familiar with the world of bondage is to handcuff your partner. Here's how to do it safely.

  • Adjust the cuffs: The cuffs should fit your partner's wrists perfectly, but not too tightly so as not to cut off the blood flow.
  • Use the cuffs during foreplay: You'll get even more excited if you use the handcuffs during foreplay. Wearing handcuffs will increase your partner's sensations. As their movements will be restricted, they’ll have no choice but to submit to your touch.
  • Use furniture: Tie your partner to a piece of furniture to underline your dominant position.

Make sure to always check that your partner is responding positively to your actions and continuing to show consent. Stop immediately if you notice any signs of pain or discomfort.

3. Add some ankle cuffs

Ankle cuffs will further restrict your partner's mobility. Here are some practical tips to help you get the most out of the experience:

  • Connect their hands to their ankles: Use a cross tie to connect the two pairs of cuffs. This position will allow both partners to enjoy the situation to the fullest.
  • Tie the wrists and ankles to the corners of the bed so that your partner is lying in the middle of the bed with all four limbs stretched out. This position of total submission ensures that you enjoy an incredibly intense bondage session.
  • Make the most of your dominant position: Play with your partner's body and make them wait... and bring them to orgasm when you decide the time’s right!

4. Break out the ropes

Using ropes gives you the opportunity to be creative and imagine the most delicious positions for your partner. Here are a few of our favourite tips for using ropes during bondage play:

  • Use the right ropes: There are cotton or nylon ropes specially made for bondage sessions. They're soft and supple, perfect for all of your BDSM sessions.
  • Learn different types of knots: Learn how to tie a figure-eight knot or bowline knot to bind your partner without the ropes coming loose.
  • Try different positions: To each their own! Tie your partner's wrists to their ankles, their limbs to furniture, or try a more complex position.
  • Aim for comfort: Never tighten the straps too much to avoid pain or discomfort. Ask your partner regularly if they are happy with what you are doing and if they want to continue (or not).


5. Silence your partner

Silencing your partner will help increase your mutual excitement. Here are some tips on how to silence your partner:
Ball gag

  • Use the right accessory: To silence your partner, use a ball gag (check out our how-to guide for using a ball gag correctly), a spider gag or a cloth made of breathable material.
  • Check your partner’s body language: It’s important to pay attention to any signs (of pleasure or pain) that your partner expresses through his or her facial expressions or posture.
  • Agree on a safe “movement”: Before the session starts, agree on a safe “gesture” (which your partner can do without using his hands, like nodding their head) to let you know that they want the activity to stop. This is important, as your partner won’t be able to say their regular safeword with their mouth gagged.

6. Talk things over with your partner afterward

When your session is over, share your feelings with your partner. What did you enjoy? Were you disappointed? What did your partner think of your session? Were their boundaries respected? Would you like to do it again?
It's important for you to be able to express your feelings in order to reassure each other and maintain the bond that unites you in complete trust. This moment of sharing is essential: you can then be confident enough to repeat the experience and improve the points you enjoyed less.

7. Take the next step

If you enjoyed your bondage session, you may want to explore the worlds of sadomasochism (SM) and dominance/submission (DS)!

Discovering this new world will put you at the centre of new sensations, so you’ll be giving your sex life a new lease on life!
Remember, consent and respect for your partner are absolutely fundamental. If everyone is totally into the experience, you’ll enjoy it even more!
Feel free to contact the LOVE Team if you need more advice on bondage play: we'd be delighted to guide you!