The Deep Connection Between Love and Lust

Nowadays, romantic and sexual relationships are often fast tracked. Dating apps, the ever increasing visibility of alternative sexualities, and the added importance attributed to our personal wellbeing are constantly redefining the boundary dividing sex and love. For some, these two things remain inseparable, for others, they’re entirely separate from one another.

But where’s the limit? And how do we figure out what works for us in a world so full of choice?

Sex with no feelings attached? Quite the tempting offer, right? However, as enticing as it might seem, it's wise to consider the risks tied to such endeavours.

Flying solo in the bedroom department grants an unparalleled freedom. It clears the deck of emotional baggage, letting you dive into new encounters without worrying about your mate’s emotional muddle.

Casual sex might come as a response to our current society, where people are often afraid to commit or to relinquish control. Some people view the no strings attached method as a way to take charge of their love life, others see it as a totally freeing way to explore pleasure and their body. Youngsters these days openly talk about things like ‘sexploration’ or ‘situationships’, fun little flings that don’t require labels.

Additionally, there's a certain buzz in knowing that we're desirable, fetching even. It's a cheeky ego boost, isn't it? But like a roller-coaster at a funfair, there are some twists and turns. Let's navigate them.

Continuously hopping from one bedpost to another might lead to an addiction to the thrill of the chase. Always hunting for the next conquest just to feel alive? Not exactly the hallmark of a sturdy mind. Dependence on another's desire for validation can lead to compromising one's own personal stability and genuine romantic pursuits.

Casual flings can lead to mixed signals. Keeping things vague? That's a recipe for resentment, sadness, and a hearty dose of frustration.

That doesn’t make casual a bad thing! In fact it may help certain people to better understand themselves, as long as these trysts are clearly defined, consenting and respectful. Exploring your sexual needs, limits and preferences without a mess of complicated emotions attached to them can help you to better know yourself before falling head over heels for someone else.

Love in its many avatars gets reinvented with every flutter of the heart. Take platonic love, for instance. Some make the conscious choice to keep their love life and sex life on separate continents. They find their groove, expressing their love through gestures, kind words, shared moments, and unwavering emotional support.

But there's a catch: this setup only thrives if both partners sing from the same hymn sheet. If not, the love boat might just hit choppy waters.

Sometimes, sex takes a back seat not by choice. The culprits? Kids, work pressures, overwhelming schedules – basically life. It’s not a deliberate choice but an inadvertent slide. To keep the ship steady, keep the communication channels buzzing. Discuss your desires, sorrows, and consider getting some professional insights if needed. Or simply, a night away from the kids, courtesy of granny and grandpa.

Don’t overlook the weight of guilt and taboo when it comes to all things sex and sexuality. A lot of people struggle bringing up the topic of sex with their partner as they’re afraid of hurting the other person, or being judged by their love.

Another thing to remember: your sexuality isn’t a fixed state. Over time, people's age, health, energy levels and self confidence levels can all change. Sometimes, the easiest way to revive the spark in the bedroom is to work on emotional connections before jumping straight back into the sack.

However it’s not always easy to get into that perfect love/lust groove. Loads of couples struggle to find the right balance, often due to things like differing expectations, rhythms, desire levels and the weight of external pressures makes it difficult to maintain. This idea, fed to us by pop culture, that sex is always mindblowing when it’s with the person you love can also cause frustration, since we often forget that it’s up to us to continue working on desire.

Whether it's all about heart, all about heat, or a tantalising mix of the two, understanding and navigating the complex web of love and lust is essential for genuine happiness. And isn’t that what we’re all chasing after, at the end of the day? Cheers to love, in all its messy, marvellous forms!

Nowadays, more and more people are promoting love and lust in open, fluid ways: polyamory, open relationships, long distance relationships, queer relationships… There are an infinite amount of ways to explore the fusion between these two phenomena without forcing yourself to fit into one single ideal.