1. Take Communication and Consent Seriously
To ensure that the experience is a success and that both partners enjoy themselves, make sure that you communicate with your lover throughout your session.
- Choose the right time and place: For the conversation to be fruitful, you both need to feel comfortable and confident. Don't broach the subject just as you're about to make love, as your partner may feel under pressure.
- Be honest: Tell them why you want to experiment with anal play, listen to your partner's answers and show empathy. If they disagree, respect their boundaries.
- Ask open-ended questions: What does your partner think of anal stimulation? Have they tried it before? Are they tempted to try it with you? Encourage them to express their doubts and misgivings.
- Talk to your partner about the upsides of anal play: Prostate stimulation can be a source of incredible pleasure.
- Respect their wishes: Don't harass your partner to get them to agree. That will only male them more self-conscious. If they don’t consent to anal play, move on. There are many other ways of enjoying fulfilling partner play.
2. Treat Yourselves to a Shower for Two
To build your partner's confidence, why not take a shower together? You'll both feel cleaner and scrubbing up together will really turn you on.
- Hygiene: Showering together ensures that you are both immaculately clean and will reassure your partner.
- Relaxation: The hot water will relax your muscles, creating the perfect conditions for anal stimulation.
- Erotic intrigue: There's nothing better than a sensual shower to discover your partner's body. Kisses, caresses, heavy stimulation...get ready to enjoy new sensations!
- Non-verbal communication: Showering together is an excellent opportunity to strengthen your intimate bond without using words. By deciphering your partner's moans and movements, you’ll enjoy some sensual and subtle communication.
3. Take a Gentle Approach
Finger stimulation can be a gentle introduction to anal pleasure. Here's how to do it:
- Caress their anus and surrounding area: Massage the area around the anus, moving your finger in a circular motion. Your partner will quickly develop a taste for the new sensations and feel more confident about what’s to come.
- Use anal lube: Using a generous amount of anal lube will make penetration easier. Apply the lube liberally to both your finger and your partner's anus.
- Insert your finger…slowly: Your movements should be slow and steady so that your partner can get used to the sensations. Remember to cut your fingernails beforehand!
- Respect your partner's rhythm: Let your partner tell you what they want. Once they’re used to this new kind of stimulation, they’ll be able to guide you with more confidence.
- Try different kinds of stimulation: Regularly change the rhythm and the kind of movement (circular motions, pressure to stimulate the prostate, back-and-forth thrusting, etc.). By changing the kind of stimulation you give, you’ll start to understand what your partner likes best.
4. Experiment With Anilingus
- Kiss and lick the surrounding areas: Arouse your partner's desire by concentrating on their butt and thigh area at first, to ease them into the idea of anilingus.
- Move closer to the anus: Continue your licking and kissing as you gradually move closer to the anal area.
- Gently lick their anus: First lick the areas surrounding the anus to allow your partner to relax.
- Insert your tongue: Once your partner is fully relaxed, you can slowly and gently insert your tongue into their anus. Be gentle and pay careful attention to their reaction.
5. Try Out Some Sex Toys
You can enhance your anal exploration session with the use of an anal sex toy. Here a few of the LOVE Team’s favourite sex toys for anal pleasure:
- Prostate massagers: The prostate is an erogenous zone for men located about an inch inside of the anus. When stimulated, the P-spot delivers incredibly intense orgasms.
- Small anal dildos: If you’re a beginner who wants to experience slow and progressive penetration, a small dildo may be the right toy for you. You’re bound to find the right model for you with respect to size, shape, and texture.
- Butt plugs: Butt plugs come in a wide range of sizes, materials and features (vibrations, for example). They deliver intense stimulation and can be worn for several hours at a time. Your partner can wear one all day to get ready for anal play in the evening, for example.
Here are the main criteria you should consider when making your purchase:
- Opt for quality materials: Silicone, TPR, glass and stainless steel are reliable, safe and easy to clean.
- Communicate: Before experimenting with toys, talk about it with your partner. Respect their boundaries and always listen to their needs.
- Clean and store your sex toys: Take good care of your sex toys to keep them in excellent condition for years to come. Clean them with soap and water after each session and store them in a clean place away from light.
6. Switch things up by playing around with temperature
If you’re looking to make your anal fun even more exciting, why not add temperature play into the mix? Try using glass toys or stainless steel toys that have been heated up beforehand in warm water, or you could even cool them down by leaving them in the fridge for a little bit. These variations in temperature will provide delightful stimulation to the nerve endings of the anus, intensifying sensations during penetrative or non penetrative play.
For an even richer sensory experience, try alternating between hot and cold during the same session. For example, start by using a gently warmed toy to relax the muscles, this will make things more comfortable for your partner. Afterwards, try something a little cooler to add a surprising, invigorating touch. This type of contrast stimulates not only the body but also engages the mind by creating a build up of anticipation.
Make sure to always test the temperature of your sex toy on a sensitive area such as the inside of the wrist before using it on your partner to ensure a pleasant and safe experience. Don’t forget to communicate throughout and adjust sensations according to one another’s preferences, this way you can be sure that the experience remains one that is built on mutual respect and pleasure.
7. Explore Anal Penetration
Once you've awakened your partner’s senses with your fingers, tongue or a sex toy, your partner may want to take things to the next level. You can penetrate your partner’s anus with a penis or a strap-on, depending on your body and your preferences.
To help you get the most out of this new experience, we suggest you read our article 10 tips for the perfect anal sex session. Have a fun and pleasurable anal discovery session and don’t forget to contact the LOVE Team if you need any advice!