Watching Porn or a Striptease, Does it Count as Cheating?

Faithfulness is often seen as a black and white affair, but in actual fact, everyone has their own way of defining what it means to be loyal. In reality, the border between what is deemed ‘acceptable’, and what isn’t, is often a grey area. Watching porn, witnessing an on stage performance, appreciating the sensuality of a moving body… All of this remains within the realm of observation, not action. However, some questions should be asked as soon these acts become secretive or guilt-inducing.

What if, instead of finding fault in such acts, we learn all about what these practices tell us about desire and communication within a couple?

Before we use the word ‘cheating’, let’s think a little about what it means to ‘observe’. For some people, this is simply a moment of solo excitement, a way for them to stimulate their imagination, or simply to satisfy a natural curiosity. Others feel emotionally distant or even disinterested in the thought.

Watching porn or a striptease doesn’t necessarily mean going out looking for something you can’t find at home. These practices often make up part of one’s erotic exploration, sometimes alone, sometimes as a couple. Humans are naturally curious, and there isn’t one single way to experience desire, context is an important factor.

The answer is simple: porn and stripteases directly concern questions of faithfulness, and not everyone agrees on what it means to be faithful. For some couples, loyalty and faithfulness is limited to the physical act. For others loyalty extends to fantasies, thoughts and emotions.

Feelings of jealousy, insecurity or comparison are sometimes aroused when one discovers that their partner watches porn or stripteases. The issue doesn’t necessarily lie with the act in itself, but more so what it symbolises: fear of not being wanted or no longer being enough.

On the contrary, these practices can sometimes feed desire. Such things can sometimes offer an outlet for sexual impulses, as a way of maintaining curiosity or stimulating one’s libido without directly looking to damage their relationship.

It all depends on how one experiences these practices. When done in secret, they can create a distance between partners. However, when shared comfortably by both partners, they can offer an occasion to boost intimacy. Watching porn together, for example, can arouse new desires, aid in communication and inspire new experiences.

Stripteases are all about performance, play, and the tension of a look. For some couples, it can be a way of breaking routine, having a bit of fun, or even reinventing the relationship between their body and desires.

What’s important is maintaining a distinction between fantasy, reality and the lived experience.

Clearly expressing one’s limits isn’t a form of control, but shows a need for trust. Being accepting of a partner’s desires is not a sign of weakness, but proof that one is willing to be open minded. The right balance often lies somewhere between individual freedom and mutual respect.

Watching porn/ a striptease isn’t necessarily cheating. It all depends on each couple’s definition of loyalty and intimacy. There’s no perfect definition: couples create their own rules, basing them on transparency, communication and respect.

Loyalty can’t be measured in gestures alone, but also in trust and sincerity. What counts is the ability to build a shared space where each partner feels safe and wanted.