The Male Orgasm : Can Men Fake it Too?

It’s long since been a belief that only women fake orgasms, either out of prudishness, feeling pressured, or because the chemistry isn’t always there during intimate moments, especially when it’s your first time with a new partner. But this idea that men can finish under any circumstance- quickly, easily and powerfully- no longer holds water. According to a study published by Statista in 2024, 42% of men in France admit to having already faked an orgasm, a number that’s far from being insignificant. So why do they do it? How do they do it? And above all, what does that say about their relationship with sex, performance and the other person involved? We’ve collected some testimonies, analysed the reasons behind this phenomenon and reflected upon what to do if you find yourself in this well established automatic ‘fake finish’ phenomenon.

We tend to believe that men orgasm easily, as though a simple act of penetration has them flying first class straight to the seventh heaven. It’s a long-lasting cliché, however, the reality is much more nuanced. Yes, sometimes men's orgasms take a little time, or simply don’t happen at all.

Some men suffer from anejaculation, meaning the inability to orgasm despite receiving sufficient levels of stimulation. There can be many physiological causes at play: an anomaly in sperm production, a blockage in the ejaculatory duct, a neurological issue, or even nerve injury. In this case, the best course of action is to consult a urologist, since it’s not a passing problem but more so a real medical issue.

Orgasms aren't mechanical processes: they demand a certain level of release, and this is why problems can arise. Fear of not being on top of your game, of having unprotected sex, the stress of extramarital relations, guilt and shame due to the way you’ve been taught to view sex… the brain can very quickly slam on the breaks on pleasure.

Sometimes it’s less clear where the blockage is coming from. Feeling uncomfortable with your partner, underlying tension in the relationship, or even just a lack of emotional connection can impact things.

Another possible factor is consistent porn use coupled with frequent masturbation. By conditioning yourself to specific forms of stimulation, the body ends up struggling to elicit a reaction to real life situations that may be less intense and less predictable.

Some days your body and brain just aren’t connected. Maybe you aren’t feeling aroused, even though you might like to have a bit of fun. It doesn’t mean the desire or the pleasure is non-existent, it just means that this time round there won’t be an orgasm, and that’s completely okay.

Voicing the words ‘I can’t finish’ to someone isn’t always easy when you’re in the moment. Especially at the beginning of relationships, or during more casual encounters. In this case, faking it may seem easier than admitting it’s not going to happen. Some people might be afraid of hurting their partners’ feelings, worrying that it will cause them to doubt their ability to be seductive. What’s more, in a society where sexual performance is associated with virility, it becomes fairly commonplace that some people would rather pretend, instead of risking their desire being questioned.

Others do it simply to make things seem realistic. When they can tell that orgasm isn’t on the cards, when they no longer have the energy to keep going, or when they’re simply starting to get a little bored, faking ejaculation allows them to cut things short without launching a debate on the situation.

There’s also the question of one’s physical state. Tiredness, being a little out of shape, or after a particularly busy night- some men just don’t have the energy to go all the way, but don’t want to be seen as ‘weaklings’.

Ultimately, the things that push men to fake it aren’t really that different from the reasons we’ve heard from women so many times before: to avoid discomfort, protect the other person, preserve one’s ego or just put an end to a moment that isn’t working for them.

Have you gotten this far yet still think it’s the stuff of myths? Then think again! We asked our male community over on our socials: Have you ever faked an orgasm? If so, why? And the responses were flooding in. Here are just three stories that show how varied- and frankly human- the reasons behind faking it can be.

John*, 28: “I met her in a nightclub and things quickly snowballed from there. Once we were in bed however, the magic just disappeared. I didn’t feel at all connected, my mind was elsewhere. The longer it went on, the more I was wondering what I was doing there. I could tell my body was tiring so I chose to fake it rather than end up going completely limp down there. It was definitely a pride thing.”

Arthur*, 35: “Me and my wife were trying for a baby. When she was ovulating, sex became a mission. Deep down, I had doubts. I wasn’t sure if I was really ready for a baby. I faked it multiple times just so she didn’t get pregnant. It’s hard to admit but that was the reality of my situation. We didn’t have a baby… and we broke up a few months later.”

Louis*, 40: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for a long time now, and we have an amazing relationship. Some nights though, I just want to relax. When I know it’s not gonna happen, or I’ve not got my head in the game, I fake my orgasm. To be totally honest, I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend's feelings. Sometimes I do it just so I have more time to watch TV…”

Faking it from time to time can happen. However, when it becomes automatic, or a reflex, it might be time to sit down and ask yourself a couple of important questions. The good news is there are solutions, and no, you don’t have to be ashamed or stay silent about it.

If it’s something that happens often, consulting a urologist is the best option. A quick checkup will reveal any possible physiological problems (and sometimes provide a simple treatment). Don’t sit alone with your worries.

A sexologist can help guide you to a better understanding of your problems concerning mental, emotional or relational blockages. Relaxing, letting go, reconnecting your mind and body… All of this can be taught. Sometimes a few sessions is all that’s needed to completely change your sex life.

Cock rings to intensify the erection, Butt plugs to explore other pleasure zones, or a masturbator that can be used with a partner during foreplay: some sex toys can make all the difference. It’s not a cheat code, it’s just a different way to enjoy pleasure.

Masturbating is completely healthy, but doing it too often can sometimes reduce sensitivity or motivation, especially if you do it just before sex. You don’t need to completely give up masturbating, you just need to find the right balance to keep arousal high during partner play.

Men can fake orgasms- let’s not get all taboo about it- however it’s often an indication to something that runs much deeper than simply ‘faking it’. Pressure, fatigue, doubt or routine, there are lots of different reasons for this, but none of them are fatal for your sex life. By simply talking about it, exploring the reality of the situation and listening to others, you’ll be able to improve your sex life.

*The names of our participants have been changed in order to protect their anonymity.