Sex Dolls: Between Fantasy, Company and Therapy

Realistic sex dolls are anthropomorphic objects (meaning they are human in appearance) designed to provide sexual stimulation. Contrary to classic sex toys, their specificity resides in this human resemblance- often feminine, their realistic texture (made from TPE or silicone) and their ability to embody a ‘partner’, instead of being a simple pleasure tool (Döring & Pöschl, 2018). Some models are equipped with heating features and bendable limbs, even vocal systems or touch activated features. Thus, sex dolls fit into the same scale going from inanimate blow-up dolls to sex bots (mechanical sex dolls equipped with AI functionalities).

From a psychosocial point of view, sex dolls fulfil three main functions: sexual (physical stimulation and substitution of a human partner), emotional (company and emotional attachment) and symbolic (projecting fantasies and narcissistic reassertion) (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).

A study by Harper et al. (2022) on 293 men who own sex dolls revealed that:

• 72% identify as heterosexual
• The average age is 38, with the majority of users aged between 30 and 50
• 55% are single, 20% are divorced
• 83% live in cities (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018)

In general, users tend to come from middle class backgrounds, work in technical or creative sectors, and have completed a level of schooling higher than secondary education (Harper et al., 2022). The number of female users is very low (3 to 4%) (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018 ; Peschka & Raab, 2022), and there’s a lack of studies available that allow us to understand their profile.

There are many reasons that people choose to use sex dolls:

• Obligation free, risk free pleasure that’s free from judgement or failure
• Re-education from social anxiety, especially during sexual interactions
• Emotional company when lonely or after a break-up
• Exploring fantasies that are deemed shameful or unrealistic (Döring & Pöschl, 2018)

Some users also see their doll as a partner, with a name, a background, even a personality. The doll then becomes a prop for emotional, sometimes ritualised support that compensates for a lacking relationship (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).

Qualitative studies reveal the numerous benefits that users experience:

• Reduced stress regarding performance, comparison or judgement (Harper et al., 2022): using a doll may allow one to regain confidence in their abilities, this can sometimes be a step towards beginning human relations again. In this sense, some people talk about sex doll use as a “tool for sexual re-education”.
• Sexual satisfaction: available at all times, sex dolls offer continued sexual autonomy that doesn’t require a human partner. This freedom can also allow for exploration of certain sexual practices (BDSM, fetishes…), even illegal ones, without putting another person in danger or using coercion (Döring & Pöschl, 2018 ; Harper & Lievesley, 2022).
• Company and emotional stability: although dolls are inanimate, some users explain experiencing emotional support in the face of solitude, particularly during moments of sadness or anxiety. In some cases, they develop a strong attachment to their sex doll, describing it as a loving partner, a confidant in their daily life (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).
• Self expression and creativity: sex dolls are sometimes integrated into artistic or photographic rituals. Entire forums are designed for customisation, dress style or setting scenes for the dolls. This creative process lends itself to strong satisfaction in terms of one’s identity, including amongst men who identify as asexual (Döring & Pöschl, 2018). Thus, sex dolls aren’t always used in a sexual context. For example, a Japanese study revealed that 58% of users questioned had not had sexual relations with their doll, and 41% acquired their doll for photographic or aesthetic purposes (Aoki & Kimura, 2021).
  

Although sex doll use doesn’t directly correspond to the criteria set out for addiction as defined in the DSM-5 (APA, 2013), it can become compulsive or ritualised, with a loss of control, an increase in the frequency with which the dolls are used, increased social isolation…, in the same manner as other behavioural addictions. The line is thin between voluntary, satisfying use, and sexual and emotional dependence. It is therefore necessary to remain vigilant when ensuring that use remains pleasurable, and that it doesn’t affect other aspects of one’s life.

The main risk isn’t the object in itself, but the way it can be used as a substitution. The user may develop an exclusionary connection to their doll(s) that can be detrimental to their human relationships, which are often seen as more unpredictable or threatening (Harper et al., 2022). In such a context, the sex doll ends up personifying forms of reassuring emotional withdrawal. This exclusionary connection can cause the user to get stuck in an unreciprocated, unilateral relationship that blocks them from confronting any differences (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).

The ‘dollers’ community unfortunately suffers from a lot of prejudice. The first being that sex dolls encourage the dehumanisation of women. According to some media outlets and researchers, sex dolls are a feminine object that encourages a dominant, consumerist and objectifying view of the female sex (Desbuleux & Fuss, 2023 ; Richardson & Brilling, 2015). Other studies show that users don’t show as many misogynistic traits as the general population (Harper et al., 2022). As a matter of fact, a lot of users are able to make a clear distinction between sexual fantasy and a real human relationship, and some users even report being more respectful to women after using dolls, as their social anxiety or frustration is decreased (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).

Nevertheless, sex dolls are often criticised for their hyper-gendered and hypersexualised representation of the body. Feminine models are often designed with disproportionate breasts and impossible waist/hip proportions, whilst the masculine models are often made with over-exaggerated muscles and penis sizes. These representations can reinforce gender stereotypes and unrealistic beauty standards (Hanson et al., 2024).

A second, widely considered prejudice stems from this first one: the idea that sex doll users are dangerous or ‘deviant’. Contrary to popular belief, those who own sex dolls don’t present severe psychopathic tendencies, nor are they more inclined to aggression. According to one study, they have a higher number of fantasies surrounding coercion, however they also have less of a tendency to act on these fantasies as compared to those who don’t own sex dolls. Some users notice a reduction in their levels of stress and aggressiveness, so one could deduce that sex dolls are a safe channel for expressing certain sexual desires and fantasies (Harper et al., 2022), especially illegal ones (Harper & Lievesley, 2022).

The third prejudice is the idea that users are socially inept, or reclusive individuals. Although a number of sex doll owners live alone or display relational isolation (49 % according to Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018), this doesn’t mean they’re completely withdrawn from society. Forums for sex dolls owners show solidarity amongst one another, regular interactions and active community participation. They offer a welcoming space where dollers can share their experiences, give advice and sometimes even give encouragement to get over the challenges linked to sex doll use. What’s more, the need for human connections isn’t necessarily non-existent: not all users see their dolls as a substitution for human interaction, but as an addition to their social life (Döring & Pöschl, 2018).

The allodoll concept has been used by researchers to describe a relationship that goes beyond sexual use of dolls. According to these researchers, it’s also a question of social use, a type of emotional bond in which the doll is seen as a partner in its own right, capable of supplying the owner with emotional support and a reassuring presence. This concept widens our traditional vision of sex dolls as simple sexual objects, and recognises their emotional and social potential. As a matter of fact, users often develop daily routines with their dolls, such as watching TV or sharing a meal, reinforcing the feeling of being in company and easing feelings of solitude (Langcaster-James & Bentley, 2018).

Far from being caricatures or technological fantasies, the use of sex dolls implies complex dynamics ranging from intimacy, the need for safety, desire to control, and erotic exploration. The data available to us shows that these objects have the ability to be restorative, gratifying and even stabilising for certain individuals, particularly in contexts pertaining to sexual and emotional suffering. Nevertheless, they also bring with them the risk of addiction, social withdrawal and relationship avoidance.

For health professionals, it’s a question of understanding the use of sex dolls as an indication or a tool alongside a person’s individual journey and their physical and psychological needs. It’s essential to discuss this subject in a way that's informative and non-judgemental, so that everyone feels understood and respected in their sexuality, regardless of what that may look like.