Is it Possible to be Addicted to Sex Toys?

Amongst the different reasons cited for the use of sex toys are: increasing pleasure and sexual/relational satisfaction (Hald et al., 2025), strengthening one's libido as well as reducing sexual tension (26 %), reducing stress and anxiety (14 %), and compensating for the absence of a partner (10 %). When it comes to a lack of sexual satisfaction within couples, sex toys are not often called upon to help (2 %) (Williams et al., 2025).

There are numerous positive aspects linked to sex toy use, such as improving self esteem with regards to one’s body and sexuality, increasing sexual satisfaction, gaining self confidence, and improving a couples’ sex life (Hald et al., 2025 ; Herbenick et al., 2010); (Waskul & Anklan, 2019). They can also help in remedying problems linked to orgasms and arousal (Guess et al., 2017). However, adverse effects have also been noted: pain, allergic reactions, risks of STI's, feelings of shame and guilt, even feelings of dependence (Döring, 2021 ; Dahlberg et al., 2019).

Which leads us to our main question: is it really possible to become addicted to a sex toy?

However, some situations are suggestive of excessive, even compulsive use. Sex toy addiction doesn’t exist as an official written entry in diagnostic manuals, but it could be considered to fit into the broader category of ‘Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder’ (WHO, 2018).

Just like other sexual behaviours (pornography, masturbation, cybersexuality…), the frequency, intensity and psychosocial consequences with which they are practised can be cause for concern. Of course, there are a number of criteria that fall into the behavioural addiction (Goodman, 2001) category: loss of control, continued behaviour despite the negative effects it procures, cravings, the inability to control sexual impulses, distress, significant changes in social and professional behaviour…

More than the toy itself, this type of addiction seems to be linked to the orgasmic experience it procures. Toys can be likened to syringes in heroin addiction, or smartphones in content addiction (Panova & Carbonell, 2019). There are numerous studies (Reid et al., 2012 ; Kraus et al., 2016) that discuss addiction to orgasms or to the peak of sexual arousal.

Sex toys, specifically those that vibrate at a high frequency, allow for quick, sometimes multiple orgasms that are potentially more powerful than those experienced through natural stimulation, whether alone or with a partner. What then happens is one can get used to this feeling, meaning stronger stimulation is needed to reach the same level of pleasure (Hilton, 2013), or stimulation is made difficult, sometimes impossible to rediscover in a natural context. What’s more, strong, prolonged stimulation can provoke a ‘numbness’ in the genital area; this, however, is a temporary sensation (Herbenick et al., 2010).

As Marthylle Lagadec, psychologist and sexologist explains, “The risk for the addict is that everything ends up feeling lackluster. Bit by bit, the reward circuit gets used to the feeling, is no longer satisfied, and requires a more powerful, repetitive form of sexual stimulation in order to get its fill.”

Neuroscientific studies confirm that addiction to objects can be similar to addiction to psychoactive substances. Orgasms provoke a massive dopamine release in the nucleus accumbens (Prause et al., 2015), activating the reward circuit.

If the sex toy is associated with a context of compulsive masturbation, repeated stimulation can cause sensitisation in the dopaminergic circuit (Banca et al., 2016), meaning that pleasure normally felt during orgasm becomes frustrating, as it no longer feels as intense as it did before.

The person affected is then going to hunt for that same pleasure they experienced the first time by increasing stimulation, therefore becoming more addicted. The feeling of ‘wanting’ is going to increase, whilst the feeling of ‘liking’ doesn’t change (Robinson & Berridge, 2003). Using sex toys can then become a ritual, addictive habit, no longer motivated by pleasure but instead by the need to relieve oneself of psychological unease.

Compulsive and exclusive use of sex toys is not advised as it can also weaken sexual receptiveness. For example, some women report difficulties of reaching orgasm without the use of sex toys (Chivers et al., 2010). Doctor and sexologist Catherine Solano reminds people in her book about the importance of varying stimulation, gradually reducing the intensity of vibrations, and maintaining an open dialogue with one’s partner.

When used within a relationship where bonds are strong, sex toys can make intimacy easier, favouring communication and sexual satisfaction. But, if used as a substitute for the other person, it can also become a cause for conflict or isolation. As stated in one study, some sexual behaviours can become problematic when an individual privileges the use of sex toys to the detriment of interpersonal relations (Brotto et al. , 2016).

Certain ways sex toys are used can be seen as counterphobic behaviours (i.e., the use of a familiar object as a way to calm down or reassure oneself), to avoid confronting feelings of fear regarding the other person or intimacy in general. This mechanism is common amongst those who have experienced relational or sexual trauma (Briere & Scott, 2015).

The search for sexual pleasure without having to face another person (their opinion, the differences between you…) can at first seem like a good strategy for adaptation. But the moment in which one begins to exclusively use sex toys, it can feed solitude and reinforce addiction, in a vicious cycle that promotes isolation (Moali, 2017).

Thus, the emotional aspect of connecting with the other person is put to one side. Sex toys tend to mostly be used as a way to calm oneself down when alone, as a response to stress, anxiety or loneliness, for example, to fill a void left by a partner after a break up. This method of self-regulation is common within many cases of behavioural addiction (Sussman et al., 2011).

In this case, it’s no longer an orgasm that one is searching for, but more so a way to appease internal tensions that allows for a physiological release. As Marthylle Lagadec states, “There’s no problem with doing something good for oneself when we feel down, but using sex toys becomes problematic when you systematically call upon this behaviour in order to ease your suffering.”

Taking charge of one’s sex toy dependence draws from the same principles as those used in other behavioural addictions. It’s a mixture of:

Even if addiction to the object itself doesn’t exist, sex toys, if used in a ritualised, exclusive fashion, can become the vector for compulsive sexual behaviour as a systematic response to discontent. It’s less the object and more the relationship we maintain with it that can cause problems. It’s therefore necessary to keep an eye out on your practice to ensure the use of sex toys doesn’t interfere with psychological, social, professional and/or relational wellbeing.

But, when used in moderation, mindfully and in a recreational setting, sex toys remain a tool for discovery, pleasure and sexual affirmation- both personal and relational. Thus the German study reveals that sex toy users consider their toys to have a much more positive impact on their sex life than a negative one (Döring & Poeschl, 2020). This balance is what needs to guide our sex toy use, since above all, they exist for… you guessed it, pleasure!