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Have you always dreamt of having a partner with an XXL penis? What may be the ultimate fantasy for many women can quickly turn into a nightmare!
An oversized penis can make penetrative sex painful and put your stamina to the test. But don't panic, there are many ways to make sex with a large package more exciting and less frightening! Here are the LOVE Team’s best tips for having a satisfying session with your phallically gifted man.
Before we go any further, let’s not forget that a large member doesn’t guarantee pleasure or top of the game performance. What really matters is complicity, communication and the ability to listen to each other's bodies. Some women find gentle, gradual forms of penetration more pleasurable than quick, deep thrusts. Comfort and relaxation are much more important than intensity.
Breathe In, Breathe Out, and Create a Relaxing Atmosphere
First off, creating a comfortable environment will help you to take time to relax before, during and after the act. Put on some soft and sensual music, light some candles, or take a soothing bath before your partner play session.
Don’t Skimp on the Foreplay
If your partner has a larger-than-average penis, foreplay is incredibly important. It will help you get into the mood, as well as making your vagina more relaxed and well lubricated. Ask your partner to stimulate your favourite erogenous zones with gentle stroking, kissing and biting, or with sex toys (vibrators or dildos).
Some areas, such as the neck of the uterus, the G-spot, or the A-spot, can be particularly sensitive to long schlongs. Focus on external stimulation (the clitoris, lips, anus, breasts…) to vary pleasure and avoid discomfort. You can also use stimulating gels to intensify sensations so that shallower penetration is favoured.
Try out different sized sex toys to help you better know what you like and where your limits are before jumping into an intense sex session.
Use a Generous Amount of Lube
Using a generous amount of lubricant will reduce painful friction and make sex more comfortable for both of you. Choose a good quality lubricant suitable for your skin and your needs. There are
different types of lubricants
on the market (water-based, silicone-based or oil-based) each with their advantages and disadvantages. For example, water-based lubricants are generally cheaper and easier to clean, but they evaporate more quickly than silicone-based lubricants. Silicone-based lubricants are durable and can be used underwater, but they can damage some types of sex toys.
Always apply enough lubricant to your partner’s penis before sex, and feel free to use as much as you need during sex.
Try Out Some Sex Toys
Using some well-chosen sex toys may make sex less painful for you. Using a vibrator or clit stimulator will enhance the sensations and increase your pleasure during sex.
You might also want to try to use silicone dilators to train your vagina to receive a larger penis. These dilator kits usually feature dilators with different sized diameters. Start with the smallest and gradually increase the size until you find one that suits you. Little by little, penetration with your partner will become easier.
Communication Is Key
Communicating with your partner throughout your session is essential. Tell them what you are comfortable with and what makes you feel good. Suggest positions that make penetration easier. Slow down and take time to relax. Mutual trust and respect for each other will help increase your pleasure.
Don’t hesitate to describe what you’re feeling in the moment: heat, pressure, eventual pain or discomfort… The more you tell your partner, the easier it is for them to adapt their strokes.
And if Nothing Works? Move On to Something Else!
Remember that penetration is not the only way to enjoy pleasure with your partner. If you still feel uncomfortable despite trying all of the tips above, try something else! For example, you can try an erotic massage or explore other kinds of sexual stimulation. It is important to discuss your preferences with your partner and be open about them. That way, you can discover new ways of enjoying a fulfilling sex life.
To learn more about the different ways to enjoy your partner’s company without penetration, read our article How to give her an orgasm without penetration for some inspiring and exciting new ideas.
Some positions are great for more shallow penetration:
- Spooning, for gentle, controlled penetration,
- Missionary with a cushion under the hips to adjust the angle,
- Woman on top, so you can control the depth and rhythm yourself.
If it still feels uncomfortable, try other forms of stimulation (clitoral, oral, or invoking the other senses) and make sure you’re well-hydrated as this will help to increase natural lubrication.
A big member isn’t the end of the world, nor is it an obstacle to you having an incredible sex life. Simply take the time to listen to your body, discuss the situation with your partner and try out new things, this way you’ll be transforming what seems intimidating into a real source of pleasure and complicity. The key is in trusting, being gentle and taking the time to discover together everything that feels good- no pressure, no pain.
