15 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

The good news is that you don’t need to revolutionise your bedroom antics in order to rekindle that flame. Spicing up your sex life isn’t all about performing or comparing yourself to others, it’s about reintroducing fun, curiosity and complicity into your intimacy. Something extremely simple, as long as it’s new, can be enough to bring that spark back.

Whether you’re after more gentle switch ups, looking to do something a little more audacious or you just want to break the routine, we’re here to offer you 15 simple, accessible ways to have pressure free fun. You’re sure to find one or two options that’ll have you tingling at the thought of trying them, so you and your partner can reconnect with each other’s bodies.

Let's start from the top: what if you stopped having sex? Don't worry, not forever, just long enough to let your desire simmer and then rise and rise and rise until you can't take it anymore. Frustration is a great way to build excitement, so you feel like you're reliving the sexual tension that you felt the beginning of your sexual relationship with your partner. When you feel like your hormones are at boiling point, don't give in right away. Spend some time on foreplay, turning each other on and until your desire becomes unbearable. When neither of you can take it anymore, get on to the main event, for an absolutely intense amount of pleasure.

The aim isn’t to cause frustration as a way to ‘punish’ your partner, it’s all about playing around with mounting tension in order to get things heating up. If one of you isn’t a fan of the idea, then you can adapt. Some light teasing and holding back is perfect.

Just imagine it: you're at work, in a meeting that's been dragging on for hours. You're absolutely fed up, when suddenly you receive a message from your partner. It's a cheeky photo of your other half in a very suggestive position, wearing very little (or nothing at all!), accompanied by a naughty message describing what will happen when you get home after work. There is nothing more exciting to break the routine of a boring work day and to arouse your libido than some well-written sexts!

We're not talking about the kind of massage you would receive from a physical therapist! No, no, we're talking about a sensual massage given by your partner, in an intimate atmosphere, complete with candles and scented massage oil. Start with a light massage to relax. Then, you can start to heat things up by moving your hands over to the more intimate areas of your partner's body, like their favourite erogenous zones. A sensual massage is the perfect way to prepare for sex with your partner, as both men and women will love the gentle stimulation and romantic setting. Plus, the physical contact will strengthen your intimate bond (don't forget to switch roles from time to time!)

If you have no idea where to start, try giving yourself a 10-minute window where everything is possible, besides the obvious. You can do anything you want, touch anywhere you want… but no sex. This way, you and your partner will be brimming with desire, and every touch will feel electric.

There's nothing like relaxing with your partner in a nice bubble bath. If you're lucky enough to have a bathtub big enough to fit both of you, a couple's bath will allow you to talk, touch and discover each other's body as if it were the first time. The bubbles will let you catch a glimpse of your partner's body parts, giving you sexy ideas for when you take things to the bedroom. You can also create an intimate atmosphere with candles and even a small glass of champagne!

No tub? No worries! Shared showers are just as effective. Simply being naked, soaped up and in a small, steamy space will have both your engines revving.

We all know that everyday routines tend to take over our lives: hours at the office, years of living together, children, etc. And indeed, routine can definitely be a love-killer (or sex-killer, if you will). So you have to be inventive and create a sexy little world where you can escape. There are some classic games, like the fireman who comes to save the damsel in distress or the policeman who gets a bit too...rough. There is a wide range of possibilities for all tastes and pleasures. It's up to you and your partner to see what will turn you on the most!

Not quite into a full on role play scene? Just start out simple by switching up your usual roles (who normally initiates? Who takes charge? Who tends to be more submissive?), or choose some sort of detail (an outfit, a phrase, a rule) and then take it from there. Even the softest forms of play will get you out of that rut.

Do you feel like your partner's libido is a bit too low, and you're wondering how to perk it up? A well-chosen tome of erotic literature is the perfect gift to awaken that buried desire. Ever since 50 Shades of Grey became a cultural phenomenon, there are more and more books being written about sex. This is also an excellent way to read up on ideas for role play (see tip #6).

Even better: take turns to read an excerpt out loud. It may seem scary at first, but the naughty side of things will no doubt make the experience incredibly exciting. What’s more, if you find a scene that you like, you and your partner can try bringing it to life.

No list of tips to spice up your sex life would be complete without suggesting that you experiment with a classic striptease ! That's right, taking off your clothes in a sexy and suggestive way in front of your partner is surefire way to rev up their motor. With just the right lingerie (see tip #5) and some sexy music, your partner will absolutely adore the sensual show that you put on for them.

Talking dirty to your partner is an excellent way to spice things up: whispering naughty or even crude little nothings into your partner's ear during foreplay will excite both of you. However, we recommend that you talk about it beforehand, so you don't find yourself in the embarrassing situation of not knowing what to say. Once mastered, dirty talk can be an excellent way to aurally stimulate your partner and increase the pleasure for both of you.

If you’re worried about doing a bit too much, start with super simple phrases like “I want you”, “keep going”, “that feels so good”, or “I love when you do that”. You don’t need to be vulgar to turn your partner on, you just need to be honest and open about what you like.

Tired of always making love in the bed that you share? Here's an idea for you: do it somewhere else! Breaking your routine is all about creating exciting and suspenseful moments. Why not start small with the kitchen counter or in the car? And if you both like it, why not get out of the house and try somewhere a little more risky like an empty parking lot or the beach? The risk of getting caught is part of the fun!

When trying out more risky places, keep in mind that sex should be fun, not stressful. The goal is to try something new without feeling uncomfortable. Take it slowly and stop immediately if one of you isn’t feeling it.

Masturbating in front of your partner is a surefire way to excite them. Not only will your other half be excited to see you touching yourself, but your solo show has the added benefit of showing your lover exactly what you like, so that they can stimulate you in the same way later.

If you feel a little silly at first, start with your clothes on or under the sheets. You don’t need to put on a whole show, this is simply a way to share your pleasure and create some sexual tension.

No, we're not talking about watching your partner have sex with someone else (although that may be your thing!). We're talking about having sex in front of a mirror to admire the action. There's nothing more exciting than watching your own sexy movie in real time while being stimulated, right?

If you don’t have a big enough mirror, you can try filming yourselves (as long as both of you are perfectly okay with it), or even just keep the lights on so you can see each other. Even this small change in ambiance can completely switch up your sex routine.

Missionary, doggy style or even spooning - all very pleasurable positions indeed, but to be honest, they can get a little repetitive after a while. So why not buy a copy of the Kama Sutra? It's an Indian collection of 7 books discussing all things of an intimate nature. Of course, the book that we're mainly interested in is the one that discusses a couple's sex life. It is a veritable bible of sexual positions, sometimes crazy, sometimes a little more tame, to spice up your sexual routine and even to live out your fantasies. Trying out new sexual positions will definitely make for an exciting evening in the bedroom!

An easy challenge: rather than trying 10 different positions in one session, start off with one. Even if it doesn’t become your new favourite, simply trying something new will help to get you to become more spontaneous.

Spicing up your sex life doesn’t necessarily mean you have to entirely change your bedroom habits: more than anything, it’s all about playing around, adding surprise and complicity into your intimate life. Try new things, have fun, hold on to the practices you enjoy and forget about the stuff you don’t. Above all, trust yourself and your partner. Desire isn’t constant, and sometimes all you need to reignite that flame is to try something new.