Men's biggest dating turn-offs: Our readers spill the beans!

Posted on 2 January 2024 by Natalia
Men's biggest dating turn-offs: Our readers spill the beans!
What really turns men off? We've delved deep, polling our readers to uncover those little things that can extinguish the spark of romance. Get ready for some eye-opening results from our survey and learn how to steer clear of these dating faux pas!

In the intricate dance of attraction and relationships, certain actions or attitudes can unwittingly snuff out the flicker of a budding romance. But what exactly are these turn-offs in the eyes of men? To find out, we conducted our own investigation, asking our readers to reveal the least attractive behaviors.

The outcome? A list of five major turn-offs, often unexpected, but crucial to know. Whether you're on the hunt for love or trying to rekindle the fire in your current relationship, these insights might just be your key to success.

Drinking too much alcohol: how one too many can ruin the mood

Alcohol, a common feature in our social gatherings and relaxation moments, can be a double-edged sword in the realm of romance. While a drink might help to loosen up, going overboard is a definite turn-off for many men.

19-year-old Thomas shares his perspective: "It can be fun to have a few drinks at a party, but sometimes, drinking too much can mask the real person. You don't get to know them properly. It can be quite awkward."
Indeed, overindulging in alcohol can not only skew our own perception but also how others perceive us. Behind each additional drink lurks the risk of revealing a side of ourselves we'd rather keep hidden. Excess can lead to reckless behavior or inappropriate remarks, creating embarrassing or even dangerous situations.

Smartphone addiction: when he’s competing for attention with your phone

In today's digital age, our smartphones have become extensions of ourselves, constantly connecting us to the virtual world. TikTok, Instagram, and other social networks grab our attention at all hours. However, this perpetual connection can turn into a major turn-off, especially when it interferes with real-life interactions.


During a romantic date, few things are more disappointing than feeling second best to a screen. 22-year-old Eddie voices his frustration: "The worst thing a woman can do on a first date is to keep checking her phone while we're enjoying a nice dinner, or even worse, at the cinema. It shows she's not capable of living in the moment, and that's just not attractive to me."

To avoid falling into this trap, it's crucial to keep your phone out of reach during shared moments. If you find this challenging, apps like BreakFree or QualityTime can help you temporarily disable your phone, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the present.

By making this conscious choice, you demonstrate to your partner that they are your priority, thereby strengthening the bond between you. After all, the best moments are those fully experienced, away from digital distractions.

Being too clingy or lacking independence: why neediness can douse the romantic flame

In any relationship, balancing the attention given to your partner with maintaining your own life is key. Being overly clingy or appearing to lack an independent existence can quickly become a turn-off for many men. Excessive availability, not having personal passions, or lacking a circle of friends can give the impression that one's life revolves solely around their partner, which can be suffocating.
28-year-old Jeff shares his perspective: "The biggest turn-off is when a woman doesn't have her own life. If she responds instantly to every call or message, and is always ready to drop everything to see me, it loses its appeal. I appreciate a bit of a challenge, and it becomes less interesting when everything is too easy."

The solution to this dilemma is straightforward: live your life to the fullest. Don't constantly wait for a call or a message. Go out with your friends, immerse yourself in your passions, and engage in your favorite activities. By doing so, you lead a rich and fulfilling life where your partner is an important part, but not the sole focus.

This independence won't just make your interactions with your partner more interesting and dynamic; it will also make you more attractive in their eyes. After all, a person who leads an exciting and self-sufficient life has much more to offer in a relationship.

Being unkind to his loved ones: the impact of your attitude towards his circle

The way one treats their partner's friends and family can be a telling indicator of their character. Many men view a lack of kindness or respect towards these significant others as an indirect disrespect towards themselves. Of course, occasional disagreements are normal, but there's a clear line between sporadic conflicts and consistent disrespect.
53-year-old Robert shares his personal experience: "My ex-wife regularly disrespected my friends. She didn't like them, didn't want me to see them, and was always throwing jibes when they were around. With my family, it was even worse. My mother nearly celebrated the day I announced our divorce…"
Even if you don't always see eye to eye with your partner's acquaintances, maintaining a respectful attitude is crucial. Constantly playing mediator between your partner and your loved ones can be draining and create unnecessary tension in the relationship.
Ultimately, showing consideration and respect towards the important people in your partner's life not only strengthens your relationship with them but also demonstrates your maturity and empathy.

Drama queen behaviour: when life imitates theatre

The term "drama queen" conjures up images of someone who thrives on drama, exaggerating every situation into a scene fit for the stage. These melodramatic behaviours, an obsession with gossip, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to stir up conflicts can quickly become draining for a partner.
40-year-old Eric shares his experience with a former drama queen partner: "She loved being the centre of attention and was always looking for conflict. Our evenings invariably ended in arguments. Our relationship was toxic, and I feel so much more at peace since we broke up."
Ultimately, a healthy relationship is built on balance and mutual respect, not an endless series of conflicts and melodramas. By choosing to leave these behaviours behind, you open the door to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
From excessive drinking to smartphone addiction, lack of independence, disrespect towards loved ones, and drama queen antics, it's clear that the key to a harmonious relationship lies in balance and maturity.
These behaviours, often unconscious, can reflect our insecurities or unmet needs. Becoming aware of these aspects and working to improve them is not only beneficial for our romantic relationships but also for our personal development.

A healthy relationship is a shared journey, where both partners learn, grow, and flourish together. By steering clear of these turn-offs and cultivating qualities like empathy, respect, and independence, we can build stronger, healthier, and more enduring relationships. And what about women? What do they consider to be a turn-off?