How to get over your physical hang-ups during sex

Posted on 18 April 2024 by Natalia
How to get over your physical hang-ups during sex
Hop on board with the LOVE Team for a fresh take on sexuality, where we're smashing physical barriers and setting you up for a truly liberating experience. Ever feel like society's impossible standards have got you second-guessing your body? Wondering how to feel fab in your own skin during sex? Keep reading!

In this article, we're going to help you get comfy with who you are and boost your bedroom confidence. Let’s figure out how to shake off those personal hang-ups and forge a real, rewarding connection with your partner. Ready to jump into a sex life that’s not just satisfying but downright joyful and in tune with your deepest desires?

What's behind our hang-ups anyway?

Physical hang-ups don't just pop up out of thin air; they're usually brewed from a mix of media influence and our own life experiences. Think about it: the glossy, airbrushed perfection we see day in, day out in films, magazines, and all over our social feeds can seriously mess with our heads. They sell us this idea of an 'ideal body' that's pretty much a fantasy—completely unattainable and utterly unrealistic.

These societal standards really do a number on how we view ourselves. From the get-go, we're swamped with messages about what's hot and what's not, and these concepts really stick, infiltrating our minds and shaping our self-image. Every snide remark or rejection based on looks just adds another layer to these insecurities, often leaving us feeling less than thrilled with our own bodies.

But here's the kicker: these norms are not the end-all-be-all—they're just cultural concoctions. Once we get that these 'ideals' are not set in stone but are up for debate, we can start to challenge their hold on us and work on fostering a self-image that's kind, realistic, and actually feels like us.

How can talking about your hang-ups improve your sex life?

Open communication is the cornerstone of a thriving intimate relationship. By honestly sharing our thoughts and feelings, especially about our insecurities, we invite our partners to better understand our experiences and provide tailored support. Sure, being this open can seem daunting, but it's often the first step towards a deeper and more genuine connection.

Chatting about our body worries or performance can lift a huge emotional weight and ease the anxiety connected to physical closeness. It also helps your partner get the gist of your specific needs, paving the way for a more satisfying sexual experience for both of you.
Here are a few conversation starters to help kick off these tricky talks:

  • "I sometimes feel uncomfortable with my body, and it affects me when we're intimate. I'd love to discuss it with you so we can figure out how I might feel better."
  • "There are times when I don’t feel super confident about how I look, and it impacts how I act in bed. Being able to share this with you makes me feel more relaxed."
  • "I find it hard to totally relax during our intimate moments because I'm hung up on [aspect of your body]. I would really appreciate your support to help me move past these thoughts."

By shining a light on these often unspoken issues, not only do you strengthen the trust bond between you, but you also encourage your partner to open up about their own insecurities.

Some self-reassurance techniques to boost your body confidence

Adopting self-reassurance techniques can be a game-changer in how you feel about yourself. Two of the most effective methods are positive affirmations and keeping a gratitude journal, both of which can seriously amp up your self-esteem.

  • Practising positive affirmations: Kick off each day with affirmations that boost your self-acceptance. Say things like "I am worthy of love as I am" or "My body deserves respect and affection." These can slowly reshape your thoughts and dial down negative feelings toward your body. The trick is consistency; make these affirmations part of your daily routine to really feel the effects.
  • Keeping a gratitude journal: Keeping a journal where you jot down what you’re thankful for can also shift how you see yourself and your life. Every night, note down three things about your body you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as "I’m thankful for my hands that allow me to write and caress" or "I’m grateful for my legs that carry me through the day."

Besides these practices, focusing on sensations rather than appearance during intimate moments can be beneficial. Immersing yourself in the physical and emotional sensations helps you detach from negative judgments about your body. This sensory approach not only enhances the sexual experience but also strengthens your connection with your partner, helping you live in the moment more fully.

Can sex toys really boost your body confidence?

Sex toys aren't just about increasing your physical pleasure; they're also powerful tools for boosting your confidence in bed, allowing you to explore and embrace your own sexuality in a safe and private setting.

Using a well-chosen sex toys encourages users to playfully and openly explore different parts of their bodies. For instance, vibrators can be used to discover what feels good and where, potentially uncovering new erogenous zones. Then there are pleasure mirrors, toys designed for visual exploration, which allows users to see their bodies in a new and often more positive light.

Some erotic items are specifically designed to help overcome body insecurities:

  • Clit stimulators: These focus on sensory pleasure rather than the visual aspects of sex, boosting personal satisfaction and easing body image concerns.
  • Body massagers: They can be used to massage and relax various body parts, which can enhance overall body relation and promote a better self-image.

Adding sex toys to your sex play can be a rewarding way to reconcile with your body image, discover and appreciate your body without the usual judgments. This not only ups your self-confidence but also enhances the quality of intimate interactions, whether with yourself or with a partner.

How can you feel more fab between the sheets?

To boost your self-confidence in bed and enhance your sexual experience, certain techniques and positions can be super helpful. Opting for positions that minimise exposure and increase comfort can make a world of difference. Take the spooning position, for instance—it allows for closeness and intimacy without putting the spotlight directly on your body. Similarly, taking control in top positions can make you feel more in charge and thus more confident.

Synching up your breathing to your partner’s, for example, can be relaxing and help maintain an emotional connection, making the whole experience more enjoyable. Using pillows to support the body and adjust angles can also provide better control and increase pleasure.

Personal exploration and masturbation are key to getting to know your body. Taking time to discover what works for you, which stimulations you prefer, or which areas are particularly sensitive, can enrich your sexual experience. Solo play isn't just about personal pleasure; it's also a means of personal sexual education. It helps you understand your own rhythms and reactions, which is essential for communicating your preferences to a partner.

As you try out our tips and techniques for yourself, we hope you'll feel better equipped to fully embrace your sexuality. The journey towards self-acceptance and a fulfilling sex life is both personal and hard-won. Every step you take will help you become more in tune with yourself and enhance your intimate experiences. Go ahead, experiment, and enjoy the journey towards a more confident and joyous sexual you!