Feeding, aka When Food Becomes Erotic

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s get one thing straight: as with a lot of kinks, there isn’t one way to define feeding. There are endless ways to explore this practice. What really matters is your intention, having clear consent and each participant's comfort.

For those who aren’t familiar with the term, it describes the practice of feeding someone, or being fed in an erotic or emotional context. Food transforms into much more than a simple meal, it becomes a play prop, a source of stimulation, even a symbol (of pleasure, connection, letting go, control etc.).

In feeding circles, you may also hear the term ‘feederism’. It’s important to note that the definition of this term changes from person to person. For some, it defines fantasies around shapes, the body and even consciously putting on weight. For others, it’s simply about exploring a sensual feeding dynamic, where there’s no particular goal in mind. In other words, there’s no ‘official’ version of feeding.

Feeding can be pleasing to some because it ticks a few important boxes when it comes to arousal: physical sensations, mental stimulation and the relationship between partners.

First of all, let’s think about all the things that food evokes in us naturally: pleasure, indulgence, scents, textures, warmth and comfort. For some people, the sensory side of food lends itself well to eroticism, as when eating, the body is already receptive to sensations.

Next, there’s the care and attention aspect of the situation. Feeding someone is a way of showing tenderness, taking care of another person, being useful. Being fed is receiving, being guided by the other and letting yourself go, this can be an extremely arousing thing if you’re used to controlling every other aspect of your life.

Finally, for some people, feeding is linked to a power dynamic, whether subtle or assertive. Giving, imposing (as long as it’s consensual), choosing the quantity, the rhythm, or on the contrary, letting yourself be guided. The simple fact of no longer being the one who chooses can create a special cocktail of emotions and desire.

Feeding can be softer and more romantic, but it can also be part of more pronounced kink play. It all depends on each individual, the given context and what each person is looking for.

There’s a more sensual option, where the idea simply consists of feeding the other person slowly, taking your time — fruit, chocolate, a dessert you can share, something that can be eaten with your fingers or a spoon — remaining close to one another and maintaining eye contact.

There’s also a more overtly erotic side to feeding that’s incorporated into an intimate moment, as an appetiser before intercourse or as a game in its own right. Arousal is sparked through the contrast between the innocence of the gesture and the mounting sexual tension it creates.

For some couples, feeding takes on a D/s (dom/sub) dynamic . In this case, it becomes a ritual where the one doing the feeding takes the initiative, deciding the rhythm and guiding the other. It doesn’t have to be ‘hard’ or humiliating: it can also be tender, protective and enveloping depending on the desired atmosphere.

Just so you know… feeding doesn’t automatically translate to putting on weight. A lot of people take part simply to explore the playful, symbolic and sensory side of things, without taking it any further.

It’s also important to set firm limits: what foods are okay, how much, what are areas of discomfort, which level of ‘play’ you really enjoy. Some people like the indulgent side of things, others hate being watched whilst they eat or don’t like it when someone comments on their body. Everyone’s personal preferences must be respected.

If one of you has a complicated past with food (or if it’s a subject that causes embarrassment, guilt, or stress), it is better to proceed with caution, or choose another way to explore eroticism.

Feeding can be exciting, but it should never turn into a source of discomfort or pressure.

The golden rule: nobody should feel forced, guilt-tripped, or encouraged to take things too far. Even when it comes to domination dynamics, the arrangement must be made clear and your partner needs to be able to stop play at all times, without having to justify why.

It’s important to also take physical safety into account. Don’t eat too fast, watch out for choking risks if the experience involves being fed by the other, and always pay attention to any signs of discomfort.

Don’t forget that feeding doesn’t have to be extreme for it to be exciting. A simple, short, light-hearted experience can be enough to create tension and complicity.

If you’re interested in the idea of feeding, it’s best to start small and keep things playful. Something simple and easy to eat that you and your partner both enjoy: a piece of fruit, a sweet, chocolate, a spoonful of your favourite dessert etc. something classic and tasty is a great option.

You can also transform the experience into a super accessible couple's game: feed your partner whilst their eyes are closed and ask them to guess what it is, change roles, set the mood (dim the lights, put some music on, get close to each other). Feeding can be a sensual starter without you having to take things any further.

If you’re looking for something a little more kinky, make sure to establish a clear framework: Who feeds? Who receives? For how long? What type of atmosphere are you looking to create (tender, teasing, controlled, gentle etc.)? This can be a bond building experience, provided that it’s thoroughly discussed beforehand.

Feeding is one of those practices that mixes physical sensations with mental ones, but in an extremely unique way. Indulgence, intimacy, attention, control, letting go… all of this can become a source of desire when experienced in a respectful, consensual manner.

If this article has piqued your interest, you don’t have to take things to the extreme to get started. Sometimes, a simple, confident action is enough to completely change the atmosphere and open the door to new sensations.