Face-Fucking: History, Top-Tips and How to Stay Safe

What is face-fucking really like? Why do some people get hot under the collar at the thought of it? And above all, how can you practice face-fucking in a way that’s safe, healthy and consensual?

In this article, we’ll be taking an in-depth look at the practice of irrumatio so that we can better understand how it works and the rules behind it. We’ll also be giving you tips on introducing face-fucking into the bedroom whilst ensuring trust and communication.

Face-fucking is the popular term for a form of oral sex in which the penetrating partner controls movement, depth and rhythm. Contrary to the classic blow job where the giver controls play, face-fucking flips this idea on its head, reversing dynamics to create a space for consensual domination.

The Latin term irrumatio appears in ancient texts, but the modern term face-fucking has been popularised by fantasies, pop culture and pornography. For this reason, a lot of people tend to have a misguided idea as to how face-fucking works within a real relationship dynamic.

The biggest draw of face-fucking is often the power dynamic that it brings to a relationship: one partner practices abandon whilst the other practices control. There’s an incredibly strong psychological dynamic to the experience:

• Feelings of abandon and completely letting go
• Feeling incredibly desired
• The idea of a guided, conscious act, enveloped in erotic tension

For others, it’s the physical intensity, or the ‘forbidden’ aspect of face-fucking that causes a thrill. It can become a playground where each person explores their role, asserts their desires and nourishes sexual imagination within their couple.

Arousal should never take precedence over your partner’s health or comfort. There are three key rules to practicing safe face-fucking.

If consent isn’t clearly and feely expressed, then it’s not consent. Make sure to clearly discuss your limits, rhythm, the deepest you can go and what is completely off the table for both partners.

The person being penetrated must have a way of slowing play or stopping immediately if necessary. Come up with a hand signal, this will be more effective when talking becomes difficult.

• Carefully control the angle so as to avoid any overly intense movements
• Use lube to reduce discomfort
• Opt for positions where the receiver can move away at any point
• Make sure to take regular breaks

By taking these precautions, face-fucking can become a fun, positive practice whilst still being intense.

It’s not easy to bring up the topic of face-fucking. You could start by slowly introducing the idea via questions like, “I read something the other day about control in the bedroom, do you know anything about that?” This can be a great way to find out how your partner feels without putting any pressure on them to perform.

Define your limits together: length, intensity, depth, stop signals. The first time, make sure to take it easy and treat it almost like a guided blow job instead of a full on face-fuck.

If one partner is not feeling comfortable, then you have to respect that. Sex is only fun when everyone involved is into it.

There are a few accessories that can help enrich and structure the practice, although this doesn’t replace communication.

• Cock rings: prolong the erection and give an added sense of control.
• Lubes (preferably water-based): are great if your mouth is a little dry or if you just want added comfort
• Blindfolds, handcuffs, collars and leads: simple BDSM accessories that can accentuate the dominant/submissive dynamic.

The goal isn’t to make the practice more intense, simply to create an atmosphere that helps to stimulate the erotic imagination of both partners.

There isn’t one single way to practice face-fucking. Lots of couples adapt it to their preferences:

• The gentler option: slower movements, less depth, shared control.
• The guided option: the person being penetrated allows their head to be guided but retains a little control.
• Roleplay face-fucking: sometimes just evoking these power dynamics is enough to stimulate partners, and acting fully upon it isn’t necessary.
• Use a sex toy: as a way to get used to the sensations before practising with a partner.
  

Face-fucking is a practice that’s often seen as violent or reserved for BDSM experts only. In reality:

• It can be gentle, gradual and considerate if that’s what partners want
• It’s not incompatible with romance
• It shouldn’t reproduce the same intensity that can be seen in certain porn videos

It’s important to remember that each couple has their own unique way of interpreting face-fucking.

Face-fucking isn’t a necessary practice, nor is it reserved for experts only. If practiced in a consensual, communicative environment that respects each partner’s limits, then face-fucking can become a rich space for erotic exploration. By taking the time to understand and master the practice, some couples will discover a new way to play around with desire and power dynamics in shared pleasure, regardless of intensity.