Customer Service
Instagram
YouTube
Brands
Advice
Have you already questioned how much sex you’re having? Maybe after hearing your mates talk about their sex lives, or after reading something online, you’ve wondered whether the amount you have sex is really normal.
Good news, ‘normal’ during sex isn’t as easy to define as you may think. Some couples go at it multiple times a week, others whenever fancy strikes them, and there’s nothing weird about any of this.
Before you begin comparing yourself to others, let’s take some time to understand what really influences a couple’s sex life.
Is There a ‘Norm’ When it Comes to How Often Couples Have Sex?
It’s often insinuated that ‘normal’ couples have sex two or three times a week. Although this figure is taken as an average from several studies, it disregards a wide range of sexual experiences.
Other studies state that the average number of sexual encounters per week for couples is one. Behind these figures, however, hides a nuanced reality: some couples have sex multiple times a week, a few times a month, or may be going through even calmer periods.
Long story short, there’s no universal number you’re supposed to hit. That’s simply not how sex works.
Why not all Couples Have the Same Amount of Sex
Rhythm varies from couple to couple for a myriad of different reasons.
Age is one factor. Young adults typically have more active sex lives, whilst older couples tend to have less sex in general.
The amount of time a couple has been together also plays a part. At the start of a relationship, newfound passions might mean a couple spends a fair amount of time getting hot under the covers. Over time, desire may still be present, but the frantic energy of the often cools off.
There are loads of other influencing factors too. Things like work, stress, fatigue, children, daily worries etc. All of this can impact your energy levels and how available you are for intimacy.
When Mismatching Libidos Cause Tensions
For a lot of couples, the problem isn’t necessarily the amount of sex they’re having, but the fact that both partners have different libidos.
One partner may be in the mood more often, whilst the other may prefer a less consistent rhythm. It’s a fairly common situation, however, it can create tension between partners.
The partner with a higher libido might feel rejected, whilst the one with a lower libido may feel pressured, or feel like they have to “make more of an effort”. In these cases, communication will be your best friend. Talking about your desires and your feelings will help you and your partner to understand each other’s point of view so that you can avoid frustration in your relationship.
Quality Over Quantity, the Real Key to Satisfaction
We tend to believe that a satisfying sex life means having sex all the time. This isn’t necessarily the case.
Some couples might not have sex often, but when they do, it’s incredibly intense and wholly satisfying. Bond building, desire and mutual pleasure often play a much more important role in sexual satisfaction than the number of times we have sex per week.
In other words, quality over quantity.
How to Reignite the Spark
If you feel like your relationship is in a bit of a rut, or that your sex life is a little too calm for your liking, no need to worry, this is extremely common.
Take some time to focus on your relationship. Do something to break your daily routine, or simply take some time to enjoy an intimate moment. This is a simple, yet effective way to rekindle the spark.
Explore new sensations. This can help to awaken curiosity and desire. Some couples like to introduce sex toys or play dirty games to give their intimate life a boost, vary pleasure and see their relationship in a new light.
Sometimes, it can be as simple as doing something different from your usual routine to completely change your bedroom antics.
Not all couples have the same amount of sex, and there’s no magic number that guarantees a ‘normal’ or satisfying sex life.
It’s important that you don’t try to follow other couple’s rhythms. The best thing to do is find a rhythm that works for you and your partner. A fulfilling sex life depends, above all, on communication, complicity and shared pleasure.
