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Known for being intimate, controversial and steeped in myth, soaking is a sexual practice that people often find shocking and amusing. However, it’s incredibly effective in pushing people to question the rules of sexuality and desire.
Before judging or reflecting too much upon the caricatural impressions we have of soaking, remember that this article has been written so that people have a better understanding of what soaking really is, why some people choose to practice it, and what it can reveal about human sexuality.
So, What is Soaking?
Soaking is a sexual practice that consists of inserting the penis into the vagina and remaining still… no thrusting, no rubbing, no active forms of stimulation.
This practice is mainly associated with certain religious circles, specifically to communities that forbid sex before marriage. The underlying idea is that, since there’s no movement, this act isn’t considered as ‘real’ sex.
Soaking sets itself apart from classic forms of sex in this way due to a lack of momentum, but also due to the intention behind it: respecting moral code all whilst allowing oneself to experience physical proximity to another person.
Why Do People Soak?
The motivations behind soaking are often multiple and intertwined.
For some couples, it perfectly balances their sexual desire with their religious/moral convictions. Soaking can maintain strong intimate bonds without, in theory, breaking those rules that are imposed by their values.
Some people see it as a way to reinforce the emotional and physical connection of their partnership by focusing on proximity, contact and presence instead of performance and orgasm.
Finally, some people choose to practice soaking out of curiosity or a desire to experiment, and this has nothing to do with religion. As with any other sexual practice, someone may choose to soak simply because they want to try something new, or just to see how it feels.
Does it Count as Sex?
This is no doubt the question on everyone’s lips.
Even if you’re not moving, the act of penetration can be inherently sexual. The body reacts to stimulation, arousal increases, the body produces a natural lubricant and desire is felt. From a physiological and a psychological point of view, it would be difficult to say that soaking is completely sexless.
Where we draw the line relies more so on intention than the act itself. For some people who soak, the lack of thrusting is enough to keep their moral beliefs intact. For others, the distinction isn’t clear, and soaking may even seem hypocritical.
Soaking is a practice that shines a light on the complexity of defining sex. At what point do we consider something to be sex? Is it the act itself, the intention, the pleasure we procure or the cultural setting that defines it?
Variations and Derivations of Soaking
There’s a whole load of variations on soaking that are more or less accepted. The most well-known variation is the ‘jump hump’, where a third person stands near to the couple and jumps up and down, causing involuntary movements of the bed/the couple.
Such variations often show the lengths that people may go to in order to bend the rules, sometimes even to the point where it no longer makes sense. They also show how people may feel torn between desire, imposed standards and a need for moral justification.
In these cases, soaking becomes less of an intimate practice and more of a game that tests limits in which people are looking to reassure themselves in the face of a restrictive environment.
Soaking as Viewed by Researchers and Sexologists
Sex experts often view soaking as an example of dissonance between natural desires and strict social norms.
Sexologists agree that sexual desire does not simply disappear because it has been prohibited. It is transformed and transferred, sometimes finding new ways to be expressed. Soaking is sometimes viewed as a way for people to try and reconcile two opposing needs: respecting the rules and a deep seated need for sexual intimacy.
That being said, there are only a few scientific studies on this subject. Soaking remains a sociocultural phenomenon that reveals to us how certain communities negotiate their relationship to sex and sexuality.
Should We be Judging Soaking as a Practice?
As with any consensual sexual practice, it’s important to think before you judge.
Although soaking may seem absurd or even contradictory to an outsider, it’s a practice that responds to the logic of those who take part. There’s no universal way of exploring sexuality: it’s often moulded through education, culture, religion and personal experiences.
Rather than judging, understanding allows us to better comprehend the diversity of sexual behaviours and the many ways in which each individual attempts to reconcile desire, pleasure and personal values.
Soaking isn’t simply a question of sexual curiosity. It sheds light on ever present tension between social norms, moral beliefs and personal desire. It also reminds us that sexuality isn’t simply a succession of mechanical actions.
Whether we see it as a solution, a contradiction or an experiment, soaking illustrates one main thing: each individual has their own rules, limits and vision of pleasure, and this is precisely what makes human sexuality so complex and fascinating.
