How to Be a Safe Slut: Staying Safe Whilst Living Your Sexuality to the Fullest

Being a safe slut is all about recognising an individual’s right to enjoy sex (whether that be just a little, a fair amount, or a lot), and the importance of respect for both yourself and others. This is achieved by following informed practices, imposing clear limits and having a real understanding of what makes us feel good.

Before we jump right into things, it’s important to note that this isn’t the only way to structure your sex life. This is simply one of many options available that are designed to help you get the most out of every experience, as well as keep you safe and in control.

Being a safe slut means taking a positive, uninhibited, responsible approach to your sexuality. It’s a term derived from intersectional thinking — feminist, queer, sex positive — that condemns slut-shaming, and advocates for liberated, consenting, guilt-free sexuality. Thus, the word ‘slut’ is reclaimed to represent emancipation, unapologetic pleasure and pride.

Being a safe slut means understanding that pleasure and safety always go hand in hand. This doesn’t mean simply avoiding putting yourself at risk, it also means being fully in control of your sexuality: knowing your body, respecting your limits, openly communicating, choosing caring partners and using reliable methods of protection.

This philosophy celebrates the right to explore, try things out and discover your sexuality, all that without shame or pressure, but instead with the information you need to make the right decisions regarding your sex life.

It allows you to combine freedom with peace of mind. The safe slut approach doesn’t put a dampener on pleasure, desire, or creativity, it offers you a frame with which to garner added enjoyment, reduced stress and even more control.

It’s also a powerful tool to help reinforce self-confidence. Knowing what you want, being able to say yes or no, knowing your limits and your desires… all of this contributes to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life.

By adopting the safe slut approach, you’ll have a clearer grasp on each situation, helping you to limit risks and understand your personal boundaries and limits.

Finally, being a safe slut also means rejecting slut-shaming and normalising pleasure. No one should feel guilty about having an active, varied or exploratory sex life, as long as everything is consensual and respectful.

Being a safe slut means protecting your health. This is achieved by:

• Using condoms (internal or external)
• Dental dams for oral
• Gloves during some practices, especially those in the BDSM realm
• Getting tested regularly, and ensuring honest, open communication with partners about these tests
• Keeping your toys clean and using the right lube

Being sexy and healthy is a thing. It is totally possible to enjoy sex without putting your health at risk.

Using sex toys can be a lot of fun. Just make sure to opt for body safe materials such as silicone, tempered glass, or stainless steel.

When it comes to being a safe slut who uses sex toys, the golden rule is: never share your toy without protection. Put a condom over the toy when another person is using it (don’t forget to change condoms between people!), this is an easy, efficient solution.

For safe, toy orientated fun, try these options:

• Soft, hypoallergenic vibrators
• Medical grade silicone butt plugs
• Specially designed BDSM gear (+ a clear safe word)
• The right lube for each toy that also won’t irritate your intimate areas
  

To be a safe slut also means to take care of your mental health. Ask yourself questions such as “Do I really want to do that?”, “Am I feeling pressured or rushed?” or even “Is this situation I’m in a healthy one?”.

Working on your self-esteem, knowing your worth, letting yourself choose (or refuse) certain experiences is an integral part of having a well-balanced sex life.

Regarding all things dates and dating, there are a few things you can do to help you stay safe:

• Organise first dates that take place in public spaces
• Let a friend know where you’ll be and at what time
• Make sure your phone is fully charged
• Try not to drink too much beforehand so you can keep your wits about you
• Keep an eye on the way your date behaves: a respectful partner won’t put you under any pressure
  

Slut safety is not a constraint or a moral stance. It’s simply an option that allows you to explore your sexuality safely. By respecting your limits, communicating with partners and adopting safe practices, you’re offering yourself a space in which pleasure becomes richer, as well as more mindful and fulfilling.

Having a freeing sex life has never been synonymous with recklessness. On the contrary: it’s by taking care of yourself and your partners that you open yourself up to more intense, more serene and deeply rewarding experiences.