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All around the world, sex is being practiced in a myriad of different ways. Within cultures, certain practices emerge, are passed on and cultivate our sexual heritage. Some are more discreet, others may surprise you, but each one of them gives us insight into how pleasure changes from culture to culture.
In recent years, a certain Rwandan practice has been causing much intrigue: the kunyaza. This ancestral practice focuses on
clitoral stimulation
and feminine pleasure, something that is often underrepresented in sex.
In our Sex Around the World series, the LOVE Team are taking you on a journey to discover intimate traditions from various countries and cultures. In this episode, we’re heading to East Africa to find out what kunyaza is all about.
What is Kunyaza?
Kunyaza is a traditional sexual practice hailing from Rwanda, although it is also recognised in other areas of neighbouring East African countries. The term comes from Kinyarwanda, and it could be translated as ‘to water’ or ‘to make gush’.
According to tradition, this technique was developed to boost female pleasure. It’s often associated with the idea of female ejaculation, a phenomenon that features prominently in the popular imagination surrounding this practice
Contrary to a lot of well-known sex related topics, kunyaza doesn't focus on penetration. The focal point is external, through the stimulation of the vulva and the clitoris.
In certain Rwandan communities, this practice is even part of the knowledge transferred to a man before marriage. The aim is simple: learn to pleasure your partner.
How to Do Kunyaza
Kunyaza is based on a fairly simple principle: stimulate the vulva and the clitoris using the penis, without rushing into penetration.
The man uses the tip of his penis to tap lightly and rub against their partner’s intimate area. Movements can range from fast to slow, depending on the situation. This shouldn’t be something that’s over and done with in a flash, the goal is to allow pleasure to mount gradually. Stimulation may even last a while, with the rhythm, intensity and position varying from couple to couple, each duo doing what works best for them.
In some cases, couples may choose to proceed with penetration after, provided that both partners are willing. According to traditional kunyaza practice, however, this is not necessarily the goal. It’s all about playing around with sensations and guiding your partner to pleasure.
What’s the Obsession With Kunyaza?
Kunyaza has had heads turning all over the world, not just in Rwanda. This is because it emphasizes the importance of the clitoris in female pleasure.
In the majority of representations we see, penetration is portrayed as the main component to sex. The truth is that for a lot of women, external, clitoral stimulation is the key to pleasure. Kunyaza has been living up to this reality for a while now. It’s a tradition that proposes a slower, more attentive approach, one in which arousal is progressive.
In certain Rwandan traditions, it is also associated with female ejaculation. This phenomenon does not occur systematically, but it contributes to the almost mythical reputation of the kunyaza.
What Inspiration Can We take from Kunyaza and Apply to Our Own Sex Lives?
You don’t have to reenact kunyaza down to a T in order to benefit. The principal of the practice alone is enough to find its place in a couple’s sex life.
Kunyaza reminds us specifically the importance of external stimulation and paying attention to the clitoris. Taking the time to explore different sensations, vary rhythms, or even simply slowing down a little can be enough to transform your intimate routine.
This approach also puts one crucial thing into perspective: paying attention to your partner. A sure fire way to guarantee pleasure will always be by observing, listening and adapting your movements to your partner’s reactions.
In this way, you might say that kunyaza isn’t simply a technique, but also a way for us to engage with intimacy.
There are many traditions around the world that serve as a reminder that sex looks different everywhere you go. Rwanda’s kunyaza is a great example of this, as a practice that celebrates female pleasure and clitoral stimulation, two things that are often overlooked in sex.
Discovering traditions from around the world allows us to reassess our own sexual habits and open the door to new forms of sensory exploration.
